href="http://take-this.planets.kasumiko.net/"
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href="http://take-this.planets.kasumiko.net/"
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People don't like change. It's that simple. People. Don't. Like. Change. Myself included. In fact, especially me.  Then again I am a Presbyterian. (Sorry that only two people are laughing at that one.)

Moving right along. It's good to be back online.  Really good.  Seeing as how I'm somewhat of a phone-a-phob (with the exceptions of Derek, Shono, and Grace) I got to talk to some friends (heh, I'll use the term loosely) from back in Carlsbad for the first time since I've been here.  And of course I'm elated to be back on mindsay...except that v3 has come in and scrambled everything up...back to the change that I randomly went off about up there. ^ (see: above)  School starts for me soon.  I'd perfer not to go into the specifics, so I won't, but I'm really, really nervous.  Scared, even.  This'll be my 4th school in 3 years.  Oy Vey.  I can't do this anymore.  I've been writing in my, you know, writing journal for the past month in which I haven't been able to use my blog...and frankly, it's just not the same.  Change, again.  Things with Derek are good. So good.  At least there's one constant in my life.  A phone call at 10 o'clock every night from my love.   The only problem with him is that he lives 300 miles away.  Not to mention the fact that he goes to that God Forsaken school.  *shakes my head*  But at night when we're on the phone, I can close my eyes and wrap my arms around myself, pretending my arms are his, and everything feels okay.  Then I realize the arms really are my own and the world goes back into a haze again. *sigh* I'm going to stop complaining right...now.

17 days.

-Court

I  slid down into the warm water, letting it engulf me.  It was delicious.  My skin drank it up.

Derek's call is coming late tonight because he had some kind of extra duties and what not that I don't understand.  However, since I woke up early this morning I got to talk to him online breifly, which brightened my whole day. Squi-squi-squishy.  I know. It's funny how I yearned for my blog when I didn't have it, and now that I do, I can't find any words significant enough to put on paper.  Or on the screen, as the case may be.  So. My mom is...a memember of...this online dating service. I kid you not. She seriously is.  She's "talking to" this guy from Albequrque. He's a librarian. Gag. Gag. GAG. 

(((ShoNo, hang in there, I have faith in you kiddo.  You can do it.  And you will.)))

-Court

*sigh*  Starting school in 2 hours. I got 2 hours of sleep, and I got sick of tossing and turning. So here I am. Already the day is not going well.  Or maybe I'm getting the worst over with?  I'm seriously nervous.  ShoNo and Derek have assured me I'll do fine, just fine, yet I somehow have a hard time believing it.  This'll be my 4th H.S.  What a depressing thought.

16 days.

-Courtney

I slept through school. Mom woke me up this morning at 6:45 as she was leaving. I rolled over and figured I'd get up in a few. Instead, I went back to sleep, and Aub didn't even say anything when our ride came and she left for school. I slept through the entire school day until mom came home at 4:30 and woke me up. What the fuck is wrong with me? Granted, I did toss and turn all night, not even falling asleep until 5:30 this morning. Still, I'd planned to tough it out and go to school. Obviously, this is not what happened.

 I feel like I can never get comfortable. I'm finally starting to feel comfortable with myself, like I fit into my own skin. Now I feel like I don't fit into my surroundings. Do I fit anywhere? Is there a place for me? The only time I feel right, and whole is when I'm with my love. I know it's corny and cliche', but it's like he makes everything okay. He...completes me. And nothing and nobody else matters. So of course, this cruel, cold world has to keep us apart.

I feel sick.

 -Court

Today was rather uneventful, that is to say, today was pretty much like the rest of my days.  I got a new cell phone, bless you unlimited night and weekend minutes.  Unfortunately, Derek was tired so he only talked to me for 30 minutes.  I mean, come on, it's Saturday night.  *grumbles at NMMI, and military schools in general for being lame* 

My glasses have been missing for 3 1/2 days now. I absolutely cannot find them anywhere.  Luckily, my vision really isn't that bad, though I did have some trouble reading the board in Bio the other day.  Still, I feel "naked" without my glasses.  Glasses just don't...disappear, do they?  Anyhow, if anyone comes across them,  you should get them back to me.  And I will love you like a fat kid loves cake. (Don't even say it ShoNo)  MmMm...cake...I'm hungry.  There is nothing that even resembles something edible (sp?) in my house.  I take that back.  Nothing that resembles something edible in my house that I wouldn't have to cook. 

So.  I have some news that could possibly be good.  It's parents weekend at NMMI next weekend, and Derek assures me that he could be with me for a few hours if I could make it down.  My mom says she might be willing to take me.  I think it's obvious how this could be good news, but I really, really can't get my hopes up, because being let down would kill me.  (...not litterally...)  *sigh* Anyone wanna drive me to Roswell this weekend?

-Court

...and what exactly is the other hand doing to elicit applause?

     It has been decided that either I get to see Derek this weekend in Roswell for parent's (and, uh, girlfriend's) weekend, or  I get to see him the weekend after next in Cruces for the Triennium Reunion/presentation to the Presbytery.  I'd really perfer to see him in Cruces, even though it's frather away, because that way I'd get to see everyone from Triennium, too.  But mostly, I'd perfer to see him when I get to spend the most time with him.  *sigh* I wish wish wish I could drive.  He called me today at a time that is not his regular time (10 o'clock) just because "I was thinking of you and wanted to hear your voice." 

Today again was uneventful for the most part.  I didn't go to church because, well, I love my sleep.  This afternoon we went grocery shopping and I managed to get an icky headache from the irridecent lights in Wally World since I did not HAVE MY GLASSES. (*Steeni Lee, we WILL get that GD glasses faerie.)  Anyhow, I have some homework and some housework to do, preferablely before 10, so I must be off.  I hope school goes well tomorrow...

-Court

Alright Mr./Ms. faet234, you come to my blog every day, yet when I try to go back to your's you have no entries.  It's just not fair for you to be able to peak in at my life if I can't look at your's.  Who is this mystery man/woman?  Why don't you ever update?  And why does my thigh itch?  (Okay so that last one is irrelevant)

Mom and I are standing at the Verison Wireless place in the mall, waiting for a freaking hour while the lady behind the counter did whatever ladies behind Verison counters do.  After I  get tired of Walden Books, FYE, and Hot Topic, I stand with mom. 

Mom: We need to bring our old phones to the church.
Me: Why?
Mom: They're giving to the "less fortunate."  I think they're making salt and pepper shakers out of then.

I personally thought this was the funniest thing in the world. But that's just me.

So, Kayla made me hungry, so I am going to go eat. Yup. Sure am.

-Court

No sleep all night. 

I mostly worried greatly about school.  *sigh*  I know I must sound crazy for this, but I don't think I can do it.  I just...I don't even wan tto talk about it.  But I can't...

In good news: The glasses Faerie has FINALLY returned my glasses. WooHoo.  I guess lack of sleep enabled me to get in a crazy state of mind so I could look in the unlikely place that is beteween my footboard of my bed, and the blanket that was stuffed down in the crack. Goooo figure. 

I'm off to probably not go to go school and probably sleep. 

-CB

11 days.

That's all for now.

-Court

I'm discustingly teenager-y. 

I'm also... still awake, not planning on going to school, not supposed to be on the computer, dissapointed in myself, a bad speller, in love, not good at making new friends, tired of change, achey, listening to John Mayer (and coincidently "My Stupid Mouth"),  bored, full, in need of a shower, frusterated, sick of the word "angst", avoiding my mother, wishing I was with Derek, hopeless, in the middle of writing a story that's going no where, sitting cross legged in my chair, updating too frequently, (therefor) proving my lack of having a life, complaining...

But mostly, I'm discustingly teenager-y. -blah-

-Court

Hey Derek, remember?

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your Holy Presance
Living in me
This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word
Spoken
To me

I'm overwalmed, and underwalmed all at the same time.  My hands are very, very cold.  My problems and fears seem so insignifcant, and so important all at once.  I think I'm gaining weight. 

Wandering this house
Like I never wanted out
And this is about as social as I get now
'Cause I am throwing away the letters
That I am writing you
They would never do
I would never do
Never do

And everything's so right, yet so wrong, and my brain is made of scrambled eggs, bubbling on the skillet, and my heart is made of hot lava, burning, set on fire, and my soul is a twisted one, shared with someone else, and my hands, they're so goddamned cold.

-Court

And.

10 days.

(((Ten days too long)))

I have a therepy appointment in the AM.  How exciting.  I guess I have a choice to make between now and then: be truthful, or lie.  Honestly, I've never been very truthful with any of my many therepists in the past.  I've liked a couple of them as people, but honestly, I don't think any of them have helped me.  Which is why I'm asking myself why I agreed to go through with this.  Mom pulled it off slyly. 

-we're eating dinner-
Mom: By the way, Court, you have a therepy appointment at 11 tomorrow.
Me: -chews-
Mom:  Someone named Liz, Layloni (my pastor/her friend) recomended her.  Layloni's daughter goes to her.
Me: -takes a drink-
Mom: Okay?
Me: Whatever.

The truth is scary.  I'm truthful (for the most part) with people I love and care about...but a therapist?  *shrugs*  I dunno if I can.  Or want to.  Or will. 

I got a shirt today at Hot Topic.  It's from Dr. Seuss' ABC's.
Front: Big F, little f, what begins with f?
Back: Four Furry Feathers on Fiffer Fuffer Feff.

Heh, heh.
I also got "The Life of Pi" at Walden's.  It's supposed to be good, and I am in need of some reading matieral. We shall see. Also. I got teen people. Yes, I READ TEEN MAGAZINES!  Is it lame? Yes.  Do I care? No.  Anyway. John Mayer is number 16 on the 50 Hottest Guys Ever list.  -insert me squealing- 

I talked to Derek tonight for one hour, five minutes, and forty five seconds. Life is good.

9 days.

-Court

Apparently, I have more to say.

-ahem- Go here. http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/ if you don't find this funny, then you do not have a good sense of humor and you owe me a nickle.

More teen mag fun:
From YM: Letters form readers, an an actical about kiddos who have gay 'rents. "Lauren from Atlanta cried foul beacuse ym pointed out that people who think that homosexuals don't deserve equal treatment are indeed discriminatory.  Saying "I think homosexuality is morally wrong, but I'm not a homophobe because I don't harasss them" is like saying "I think blacks are racially inferior, but I'm not racist, because I don't burn crosses in their yards." ...I can only hope close-minded people like Lauren start getting over their "morals" and start living in the real world- where people are different and love is what matters." -Felical Jones, Virgina Beach, VA

A-FUCKING-men sista.

My aquarius horoscope accourding to YM (I'm not into astrology, I think it's crap, but it's sort of fun to read, and it's weird when it's right) "You've spend more nights stairing at the ceiling and spressing about school then sleeping lately."

Whooooa, mahn.

Mystery man/woman is still a frequent visitor of my blog.  Anyone who knows who this "faet" person is should tell me right away, or I shall have to get it out of you the hard way. Muwahah...-ahem-

Thank you, that is all.

-Court

P.s. Still 9 days...so close, and yet, so far away. -sigh-

Oh.

8 days.

-Court

This time next week, we'll be together in Never-Never Land.

 Or, you know, Cruces.

7 Days. One week. ...an eternity.

 -Court

I guess maybe it's about time for me to explain what the big countdown is about.  As all my "regulars" (yes, all 3 of you!) have surely guessed, it has to do with seeing my Derek.   Presbytery (where all the pastors in the area, or Presbytery (I'm in Sierra Blanca) is next weekend in Cruces (That's Las Cruces, NM) and the group of us that went to Triennium is going there for a presentation of sorts to the Presbytery about our experiance and whatnot.  Also, it's serving as sort of reunion for us kiddos to get to see each other.  Because my mommy is very, very awesome, she is driving me the 6 or so hours to Cruces next weekend (even though I'm going to be a couple of hours late) were I will get to see my dad, (who is a pastor, therefore is going) Emery, Teresa, Sandon, Sean, Brianna, and all the other kids from Triennium...andddddddd...Derek.  I guess basically all you need to know is I get to spend next Friday night and Saturday with Derek and I am very, very happy about it.

Honestly, that's all that's on my mind right now, so I'm out.

Really, Really, (<----That one's for you David)

-Court

P.s. Uh, yeah, still 7 days.

Around 2:30 in the AM, I was sitting and chatting with ShoNo on my computer, getting ready to sign off and go to bed, when suddenly I heard yelling, lound noises, and roaring laughter.  I freaked out as it sounded like it was very close and I had no idea where it could be coming from. My dauchshund Brownie, who thinks he's a watchdog, started running around and barking like crazy.   After I calmed him down, I went to investigate.  I went into my room, and sure enough, the talking/noises/laughter got louder.  I concluded that this noise was indeed coming from my hick neighbor's house, more specificly, their back porch. There was some sort of gathering gonig on that involved drinking and thier loud friends. Unfortunately for me, their porch is about 30 feet form my house.  For awhile I just tried to read and block out the noises, but there's only so much a girl can take. 

What I felt like doing: Going onto my porch and yelling "STUPID HICKS! Shut the FUCK up or I'm going to call the fuckings cops!"

What would have been more polite: Going onto my porch and saying "Excuse me? Could you tone it down an eensy bit, I'm trying to sleep.  Thank you."

What I did do: Got pouty and turned up my TBS REALLY LOUDLY.

They finally quieted down around 3:45.  I hope my music bothered them.  It probably did, they probably listen to COUNTRY. 

-Courtney

I'm really worn out, I don't have much to say.  I haven't been sleeping much at all lately.  I went to the mall today and got a new skirt and shirt from Anchor Blue, and a book from Walden's. (even though I'm still reading Life of Pi.) Speaking of which, Life of Pi is a really good book.  And it should be read. By everyone. Yes. I talked to Grace twice today on the phone.  It was nice just to chat.  She got the Sims 2, which I can't wait to play.  Mom also "secretly" got it for me, but I don't get it until I go to school.  In other words, I'll probably never get to play.  I also kept Derek on the phone for a long time tonight.  I always feel a little guilty for doing so, he is really busy, but tomorrow is Sunday and just hearing his voice coming from the other end of the line is enough to sooth me and make my worries vanish.  Sorry this is such a lame entry.

6 days.

-Court

Jessa: I talked to Jsquared the other day in third hour...she says she misses you.  You should unblock her on MSN.

Me: *jaw drops* Unblock?! UNBLOCK? She's been deleted from my list for 6 months. In fact, I don't think I've said a word to her in 6 months.

Jessa: Then readd her, do you need her address?

Me: NO FREAKING WAY.  It took me months to get over her. MONTHS.  I finally just deleted all the old e-mails I'd kept from her. 

Jessa: Okay, okay, you're right, nevermind, forget I said anything.

Me: *calming down a bit* I mean...it's just been so long.  It'd be awkward.  And there's so much pain there...did she say anything else about me?

Jessa: She said she was sorry she hurt you.

Me: BS!

So.  That was a bit odd, to say the least.

I finished The Life of Pi.  I'm surprized I got through it though, it gets pretty graphic and I have a weak stomatch.  Still, it was good.  Though the ending is strange...

I need sleep.

5 days.

-Court.

Points to anyone who can name where that little song is from.

I watched "How to Deal" this morning.  I rented it simply beacuse it's based on "That Summer" and "Someone Like You" by Sarah Dessen.  However, as in all books-turned-movies, they messed it all up and I sat there and complained about it to myself as I munched on goldfiish.  I also left my cell in my room while I was watching and missed Derek's morning call. =(  

 In other news, it's freaking cold here.  And windy.  And cloudy.  And yucky. But mostly cold.  This is the farthest north I've ever lived and quite frankly I don't know if I'll last the winter.  It SNOWS here.  Yeah, I know you Yanks area laughing at me right now, but I AM FROM TEXAS.  It doesn't snow there.  Not more then a few millimeters, anyway.  I don't do snow.  It's cold.

In other, OTHER news, do you people realize how close Friday night is?  Very, very close.  Very close indeed.  So close, I can almost taste it.  I'm startin' ta get verrrry excited.  That's right bitches, 5 days. 

On a leaving note, I think I'm going to go make some hot tea and/or hot chocolate and hope my feet don't die of frost bite.  Well, not die...fall off. Doesn't that kind of make them dead though? Yes? Okay, really. Bye. The end. I'm done. No more typing. I'm leaving.

-Courtney

I got bored.  Hence new "theme".  Hooray.  Some good 'ol rain soaked Courtney mixed with a bit of John Mayer, and voala.  I know you HTML experts are not too happy about the v3's un-HTML stuff, (-cough- *Steeni Lee -cough-) but I gotta say it makes me very happy.  Although, since it's so easy to change, I doubt I'll stick with the same "theme" for very long.  Okay, yes.  Point here being: new layout.  Like it.  Beacuse I said so bi-ATCH.

-CB

I have the ear infection from hell. Oh the pain. I fell asleep at 10:30 tonight, as soon as my head hit the pillow.  Which never, EVER happens to me.  Obviously my body couldn't let me enjoy a full night of sleep though.  That's all there is to say right now.

4 days.

-Court

Oh. Today is two months with Derek.<3 Yay, drinks for everyone, on me.  Nonalcoholic of course.   That's right folks, free rootbeer and lemonade. 

(((Love you QUACKS!)))

Still 4 days.

-Court

Is it just me, or are there TWO music videos for Switchfoot's "Dare you to Move" ?  If so, why was this aloud to happen.  If not, why am I seeing things? Anyone got answers?

The tension is here

The tension is here

Between who you are

And who you could be

Between how it is

And how it should be

-Courtney

Yeah. Another update.  I'm on a roll today folks.

Why My Day Sucks

by Courtney Lanham

1.  I got 4 hours of sleep.

2.  As I mentioned, I have the ear infection from hell. 

3. Although I could have told you that, I still had to go to the doctor so she could say "Here, take these drugs."  This involved weighting in a small, hot room for an hour, and having to talk about my "issues" with school.

4.  Did I happen to mention that school is one of my least favorite topics ever, ever, EVER?

5.  I didn't talk to Derek at all this morning.

6. I started my GD peroid.  GRrRrr. This means: bitchyness and crampyness.

But. I will go to Cruces to see Derek on Friday even if I am on my death bed. 

Today sucks.

-Court

P.s. Everyone should read the entry down there. Yup. Sure should.

Ahhhhh yes.  I slept from 3 PM to 4 AM.  Eleven hours, only interuped by a 15 minute phone call at 10 from my love.  And afterwards, I went right back to sleep.  I know, I can't believe it either.  I guess being sick has it's benifits. 

Nobody really answered my Switchfoot question. Oh well.

3 days.

-Court

Fluffy Puff Marshmellows.

You're the best friend anyone ever had.  So, who's had you lately?

Good morning, beautiful, how was your night? Mine was wonderful with you by my side. <3

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged only to find the ways in which you yourself have altered."  It's amazing how much this quote describes Mo Ranch.  Every year I go back, and every year it's the same.  And every year, I'm different.

Everyone is different, no two people are the same.  Some people wears glasses. Beth looks like a dude.

It has often been said that great minds think alike. So, does your butt itch too?

Every kiss...is like the first.

"Why aren't you at school?" "Why aren't you in my pants?"

Two muffins were sitting in the oven.  One muffin turns to the other and says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." the other one replies "Ah! A talking muffin!"

Wanna WooHoo! ?

My elbow itches. 

3 days, 2 nights.

-C o u r t

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I saw a flash of grey out of the corner of my eye as I was playing bejeweled on my phone.  I figured it was my little sister's stupid little chihuahua, but when I looked around, I didn't see him.  I went back to playing and again saw movement.  I focused in on it this time: it was a mouse!  You know how you see ladies standing on chairs in movies screaming about mice?  That was me.  I've never thought I was afraid of mice but I screamed bloody murder.  I guess it's something to do with an uninvited living thing in my house.  *shudders*  I called my mom "Mommmmy, we have miceeee!"  I hope my dogs get them.  Ewwwwwwwww.

-Court

I've been on edge all day.  PMS at it's worse.  The mouse situation hightend it.

Sitting in a Mexican resturant, finishing a delicious meal.  I get an IM on my phone from Derek.

"I might have some bad news." he says.

I know what it is without even asking.  Just then, my youth minister and her daughter come over and start yabbing and asking me abouts school.

"Do not tell me you can't come. Derek, I will come and kill you. With my bare fucking hands."

"I don't know if they're going to accept my request to leave...and, I don't know."

More yabbing about ski trips and school.

My head is pounding, I'm glaring at my mother.  Nobody takes a hint. After 10 or so minutes or so, I am so fed up, I don't even care about being polite.  I push Linsey, the daughter out of the way and go to the car and cry.  I call Derek, who tells me he really needs to do his homework and that we can talk about this later.  I hang up and really cry.  Derek sends me another messege that he talked to Stephen (his pastor) and he is going to fax the school and see what he can do.  At this point, my hopes are not very high. 

I think I have to go die now.

Days?  Who knows how many days?  The world is against me and out to get me, it may be never.  I can't remember a time when I felt pain this strong.

-Courtney

I slept from 9:30 pm (with a short break to talk to we all know who) to 7:30 am.   That's right folks, NORMAL TIMES. 

Therapy this morning.  I had no desire to go, but knew I had to.  It was first session, which means she asked me a lot of questions and my mom had to come in with me.  Fun stuff.  My therapist, Elizabeth (I've never, ever called any therapist I've had Dr. So-and-so) must be in her mid-twenties and she seems very cool.  I really hope she can help me, I think she can.  Most surprizing moment of the visit:

Liz: Any substance abuse in your house?
Me: Just me.

(shocked look from Liz for saying this in front of my mom, shocked look from Mom for saying this in front of Liz.)

Me: I smoked pot for awhile.  I'm not really into that anymore.

-next question-

I was sad I didn't get to talk about how upset I am about not getting to see Derek, but I came home and cried about it (again) anyway. My mom wants me to go to the Catholic school here in town that my little sister has started going.  I'm not insanely happy with this idea at all, especially since everyone who I've told I'm looking into it (Elizabeth included) has said "I hear they have a huge work load there."  Oh boy.  I've been randomly crying a lot since last night,  to the point I forget why I'm even crying, or if there really even is a reason anymore.  I'm tired of everything.  Things are going to get better soon, right? 

-Court

P.s. Not to be outdone, and because you are the coolest: -deep breath- *SteeniLee*SteeniLee*SteeniLee*SteeniLee*SteeniLee*SteeniLee*SteeniLee

So there.

Lots and lots and lots of frustration, bordum, nervousness, sadness, anger, confusion, being uncomfortable, hurting...

Hence my compulsive need to change things up.  Please excuse my temporary insanity. At least, I hope it's temporary...

I now have a new date to count down to.  October 16th, NMMI's homecoming.  I will do whatever it takes to get there, and he can't back out of it.  No way can his school not let him be at his school.  It's fool proof.  -knock on wood-  Count down begins October first. 

-deep breaths, crosses fingers-

-Court

I should be with Derek right now. -sigh-  He says his frined wants him to drive up to Albequrque with him tomorrow.  I wish he would, Albeq. is just a couple of hours from here, and I know I could get there to see him.  I don't think he's going to go though.  It's a long drive for him, and he'd only get a couple hours there.  -sigh again-  I don't really blame him.  But it'd be nice.  I hate that he lives so far away.  -sigh again again- Okay, enough sighing.  I talked to him for over an hour tonight, so I honestly feel better.  Yup. Sure do. I'm going to bed.

"That's just the way the cookie crumbles, Court."

-Courtney

I s'pose I should update today, seein' as how I didn't even get online yesterday.  Which is very un-Courtney like indeed. 

I've been having some pretty weirdass intense dreams lately.  The weirdest one is that Grace had a baby.  I won't even go into the weirdness of the dream, beacuse believe you me, it was weird beyond weird, but the main point, Grace having a baby, was pretty effing strange in itself.  Let's think about this. Ms. Virginal having a KIDDO.  That's just, whhhhoa, man.  And then, I had this other dream about Derek, and after that, I dreamed I called him and told him about the dream.  Like, whoa, mahn. 

I promised the dork (aka Aub) that I'd make some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies with her, so that is what I shall do.  Maybe more later. Maybe not. MmMmm, oatmeal chocolate chip. -mouth waters-

-Court and whatnot

One pair of candy lips and your bubblegum tounge. MmMmm....

Grace has...you ready for this folks? Orange hair.  It's very cool in an accidental sort of way.  If you know what I mean.  And probably, you don't.

I have some serious stuff to think about.  Which is of course why I'm talking about very non-serious things.  And yes, I'm also pretty sure non-serious is not a word. 

I'm doing a bad job of trying to write a good update.  Can you ever forgive me?  I don't think I can forgive myself, either.

To.

Many.

Spaces.

-Courtney Beth

Aub's probably moving back to Carlsbad with Dad. HmMm. The kid shuffle.  He said I could come back, too.  It's tempting, I hate this town.  I'd be closer to Derek.  But I really don't want to be apart of the great kid shuffle. 

In other news: Derek dropped his phone in the rain, where it sat for 30 minutes until a friend of his found it.  Now it vibrates continuously.  Derek, you are a moron.  You're lucky I love you anyway.  Anyway, after about 5 minutes on the phone tonight, he was like "Babe, my ear is really starting to hurt."  -laughs-  Dorky Derek.

Uhm, the end.

-Court

Went to therapy with Elizabeth this morning at 9.  It was pretty good, we mostly talked about school and whatnot.  Nothing significant enough to repeat here.  Afterwards, I went to Rehobeth, the school I want to go to (Yes, it's kind of uppity Christian-y, but everyone says it's the best school in the area.)  for an interveiw with the principal.  That was the scariest expirance of my life, I kid you not.  I thought it went horribly, but my mom assures me that it went fine.  Right.  Anyway, my case is "unusal" and not what they're "used to" but they're trying to "think outside the box" and "see what they can do for me".  I really hope this works out.  Really, really, really...you get the idea.  And if you don't, that's your loss.  Obviously. 

In other news, there is no other news.

Coo-Coo-Ka-Choo

-Court

HEY EVERYONE, GUESS WHAT?!?!? THIS ENTRY IS BEING WRITEN IN ALL CAPS, EVEN THOUGH IT'S ANNOYING, BEACUSE I'M JUST THAT GD EXCITED.  GUESS WHAT ELSE?!?!?! DEREK IS COMING TO ALBEQURQUE THIS WEEKEND!!!!!! 

Alright, enough caps.  But seriously, I am so. fucking. (pardon my French) excited.  I can't even tell you people.  Which is why I shall not attempt to do so.  I know what you're all saying "But Court, what if it falls through?"  To which I will answer "Then I will be totally crushed and you bitches (more French) are gunna have to deal with it, do not put a damper on my excitment!"  Derek.  Saturday.  YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY x 658374598345987439823904385. *Steals Leesha's thing*  Okay, I am so going to go celebrate with ShoNo or something. FUCK YES!!!

Gues what guess what guess what?!  FOUR DAYS!

-A very, very, very happy Court

It's almost mindnight.  I'm getting ready to turn off the T.V. and call it a night.  My phone rings.  I figure it's ShoNo, calling me after her night of partying.  No one else would call me so late.  I look at the caller ID.  It's Derek.  I'm puzzled.  He's almost always asleep by mindnight. 

"I couldn't sleep," he says, "I needed you. I'm sorry if I hurt you earlier." 

And so of course, Court can't stay mad. <3 

Rain clouds loomed overhead, threatening us with a storm.  The smell of rain lingered in the crisp, fall air.  I turned my face skywards.  "It rained in Roswell, on Derek yesterday." I said quietly, to no one in particular.  "Form his tears to your's." She said.

Hey Meph, Squishyness is awesome.

-Court

Dear Mindsay people,

      My 'Plugins' link is messed up.  Fix it.

-Court

Does anyone know where *Steeni is?  No update or blog visits for 2 days, and her last update was kinda morbid.  I'm a little worried. 

*Steeni Lee, where is you my love? 

In other news, I went to this Phillipino resturant tonight and oh mahn, that was some good stuff.  If you have not eaten Phillipino food, do it.  For serious.  YuMmmmMm. 

In other, other news, (as a side note to the side note, as Leesha would say), I've been trying to Jedi Mind Trick Derek this week.  "You will drive to Albequrque this weekend to see me."  I say at random intervals.  It does not seem to be working.  Apparently, I need to finish my Jedi Training. 

News upon news:  My dog, Pepper, has become insanely interested in the mice that have infested our vents.  She stands gaurd, sniffing and drooling around their little mouse house (oOoo, nice rhyme Court) for most of the day.  I think the mice only come out at night now.  It's pretty funny to watch.  Mice killing weenie dog on the loose.

Okay, I'm out of interesting things to say for now folks, over and out.

-Court

I'm attempting to sell myself to this Christian Prep school that I'm trying to get into. I'm trying to write an essay on why I'm awesome and why they should let me in their school.  This is what I have so far.  Tell me what you think.

"I am so awesome.  You so want me in your school, bitches."

Good, no? 

In other news, my parents argued most of the evening via telefono about The Great Child Shuffle (Aub moving/not moving), resulting in much yelling and several hang ups.  *rolls eyes*  But in good news, dad is buying a house in town.  As in, he's moving into Carlsbad from Loving.  Finally.  And this house has 3 bedrooms, which means I get my own room when I'm up there.  Can I get a WooT, wOOt? 

Woot, woot indeed. 

-Courtney

Last update today. I swear.

This is part of the news letter, online and print that my Presbytery puts out each month.  This is the section on Triennium, the nation wide youth conference that I attend (and where I met Derek!) in July. 

http://www.sierrablanca.org/banner%20story.html

And I am so quoted.  Frick yeah.  What Sean had to say was absolutely amazing.  I wish I'd said something that wonderful.  Still. What a great expirance.  Wowie.

-Court

The trains don't wake me, with their warning whistles peircing through the night.  The trains don't wake me, but they make me stir.

Happy, uhm, October 1st.  Why does Wal-Mart put out thier Christmas crap before it's even Halloween? 

Woke up, couldn't figure out why.  Was it from a dream?  I couldn't grasp anything.  Had I been asleep at all?  I looked at the clock to confirm that I had. The most frusterating feeling is lying in bed when sleep just won't come.  I got up. 

"Daughters" is John Mayer's new single.  I've been telling everyone it would be.  Who was right?  That's right, Courtney was.  Deal with it bitches.

*Jedi Mind Tricks You*  You will drive to Albequrque on Saturday to see me. 

What a pointless entry.

-Court

I'm going to cut down on the Beatles' song titles as subjects really soon here. Probably.

Derek: I got a new e-mail address

Me: Really, what was wrong with your old one? =P

Derek:  Nothing. It was old.  I got a better one.

Me: Okay then, what is it?

Derek: QuacksluvsCorky

Oh mahn, that is so cheesey.  Oh mahn, I love it so much.  Oh mahhhn.

-giggles- Hehehehe

For those of you out of the loop, he is Quacks, and I am Corky. Thank you and goodnight.

-Corky...who Luffs Quacks

Derek lent his friend his car.  And his friend ran a stop sign.  And ran into a truck.  Gee, teenage boys are such good drivers.  And I caught something about his car not being registered.  So Derek is taking the heat from his mom, and his school, because he was nice and did a favor for his friend.  *shakes my head*

In other news, *Steeni Lee is back, and that makes me happy. 

572.9 cool points to Leesha just because.

EDIT:  Wow, Derek is really upset.  I didn't realize how hard this hit him.  Since his car wasn't registared with the school, and some other NMMI rules that I don't understand...he is in huge trouble. He thinks he's gunna get like 45 tours...and he punched a wall...I'm a little worried.  He's one of those people who's just generally happy.  I hate how helpless I felt talking to him, wanting to comfort him but knowing nothing I said was going to *POOF*  make it all better.  I hope he's better tomorrow. 

-Court

faet234 for, how I hate thee.  Mysterious and secretive, thou does not show thy face.

That was weird.  What I mean is, WHO ARE YOU, you feindish feind!?  If I do not find out soon, my skull will surely crack.  If you're someone of no significants to me, great, tell me who you are anyway.  If you're SPYING on me, great, tell me who you are anyway. 

http://faet234.mindsay.com

How I love to hate thee.

That was weird.

-Court

So. Dad is coming to haul Aubrey and her stuff to Carlsbad on Thursday, and I get to go along for the ride. Meaning, I get to see ShoNo, and Derek. Mom went on a date with some guy today. They went hiking in the mountians. It got late, so they found a cabin/lodge thing and they are staying there. I know what you're thinking, but for Christ's sake, please don't say it. The good news in this is that Aub is staying the night at a friends house, so I have the house to myself. The bad news is I have absolutely no one to invite over and be wild with, because I still have not made ANY friends in this stupid, stupid town. I wish Derek was here. Speaking of Derek. He's still a somewhat upset/shaken up about yesterday, but he's cooled off some. So *whew*, no one has to be miserable, *SL.

No sex & drugs for me tonight, even though I have the house to myself. I guess I'll have to stick with some rock 'n roll, right ShoNo?
*blares my music*

-Court

For once, I had an awesome Saturday night.  No, no going out and being crazy (sadly), but I managed to have a kick-ass time anyway.  I talked to Derek twice, which always makes me happy. <3  I also found out that we get like, 100 more channels on our living room T.V. then I thought we got.  WE GET NOGGIN.  I heart Degrassi. And I didn't even know.  So, yes, that was a nice discovory.  I watched a little Ghost World on some movie station, beacuse Scarlett Johanson is smmmokin'.  Anyway, at 1:30ish I call up ShoNo, and I swear, I busted a gut laughing.  When she went off to college, and I moved here to Gallup, a little part of me was very afraid our friendship would fade.  But it's been proven to me once again (as it was with Grace when I moved from Texas) that friendships can be maintained as long as both people want to keep it going.  Anyway, ShoNo and I were trying to find T.V. channels that are the same (She lives in Tejas, so some of our stations are on different time zones) both places, and we settled on VH1.  "Meant to Live" by Switchfoot came on, which is OUR SONG BAY-BE.  So we started jammin' out, and we realized that if we both sang along with video, which was airing at the exact same time, our voices would get to the other person on the other end of the line just a couple of seconds later.  Maybe you had to be there, but it was HILARIOUS.  We couldn't stop laughing.  Anyway, I'm also really excited for ShoNo and Derek to get to meet this weekend! They both mean so much to me, they're two of my favorite people on earth, and they finally get to meet!  Well, if all goes according to plan...and we all know THAT seems to happen when I make plans to see Derek. *pouts*  But I really think things are going to work out this time...*knocks on wood-  We can hope, anyway. 

Mom pried me out of bed 30 minutes ago, and then went to go take a nap.  And Aub is asleep.  How is this fair? I'm off to go scrounge some lunchish typed food.

-Court

Uhm.  What's up with some words magically becoming links?  I don't like it.  And that peach color totally doesn't go with my theme. ; )

That's all.

-Court

Procrastination is like masturbation; it's all good and fun until you realize you're only fucking yourself.

I lothe the song "Peices of Me" by Ashlee Simpson.  The girl needs to learn how to pronounce p's.  It's Peices, not Beices. 

Let me know that you love me, let that be enough.

-Courtney

I just realized today is the one year anniversary of my parents split.  Mom told me one year ago today that she was going to "get an appartment a few blocks away, just for me."  HmMm. 

-Court

There's this spot, inbetween "the strip" and the little subdivision my house is in where there are no street lights.  I guess the city decided it wasn't important enough to be lit up or something.   It's so odd, you're driving along in the bright lights of the town, and suddenly *BAM*, you're in darkness.  My mom and I call it "The Vally of the Shadow of Death" (yuck, yuck, biblical humor) or "The Zone of Darkness".  You drive through the Shadow Vally for 3 minutes or so, until you come to the stop light where you turn to get to our house, turn, climb a hill...and *BAM*, lights back on, just like that.

I don't know what this had to do with anything, but I find it pretty interesting.

Dad sent me a card today, I almost started crying, but blinked back tears.  It said (paraphrasing here) "The thing I'm most concerned about with Aubrey moving back here, is that you two won't be together.  I think your relationship is really important, and whether she shows it or not, she looks up to you a lot as a big sister.  I hope you'll work to maintain your relationship.  I miss being around you, and I love you." 

Generally, I roll my eyes at this type of thing.  For some reason, it makes me kind of sick.  "You're the one's who split up..." But, I dunno, this really got to me...

I GET TO SEE SHONO ON FRIDAY AND DEREK ON SATURDAY!!!  Need I express my excitment?  Okay.  I will. WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

The end.

-Court

Dude, today someone named suckywaffle and someone named killerpoptart came to my blog.  That's right, two adjective/breakfast foods.  IN ONE DAY.  If that isn't exciting, well, I just don't know what is.

So I'm reading The Secret Life of Bees because my mom gave it to me and told me I'd like it.  And you know what?  I actually am.  This is the second book in a row my mom has given me that I've liked.  The last one was Ordinary People, which everyone should also read.  I could really relate to this kid.  Besides the whole suicidal cutting thing.  Anyway. 

My excitment is building, because tomorrow at this time I will be on my way to Carlsbad!  There's starting to be a little nervousness mixed in with the excitment.  I haven't seen him in so long...(((Butterflies)))

Anywho, I'll try and update before I leave tomorrow, though I still have a few things to do (i.e. pack)  but if I don't I'll either be back this Sunday (hopefully)  or have to stay until next weekend. (Too long!) 

-Court

HmMm. Therapy por la manana.  Guess I should get to sleep sometime soonish. Soonish.  That's a fun word.

So we were walking into Cracker Barrel today, and my mom goes "So do you want to know Bill's (the guy she's dating) deep dark secret?"  "Uh, not really." I say, clearly not interested.  "Well it's kind of interesting." she goes on anyway. "That's great, Mom." I counter. "Well..he's a millionare."  I stop walking.  "No shit?"  THE DUDE IS A FREAKING MILLIONARE.  He waited to build a relationship with her before he told her (smart)  but I gotta be honest and say I like this guy about ten times more now. 

In other news, my mom gave me my great grandma's engagement ring to wear.  The only finger it fits on is my left ring finger though, so it really looks like I'm engaged.  It's sorta funny, but maybe it'd stop guys from hitting on me (since I'm 'in item' anyway)...if guys actually hit on me.

Well I'm off to see the wizard...or, you know, go to bed. Whatever floats your pickle.

I have now switched my pissy-ness form feat234 to notfromhere.  Leaving me comments that imply that you know something I don't is just plain not cool. 

http://notfromhere.com

You are not my friend. Go away.

In other news, woohoo for being in Carlsbad!!!  I GET TO SEE SHONO IN A COUPLE OF HOURS!  And I get to see Derek TOMORROW.  I've also been very happy to be able to see my dad, I've missed him.  Uhm, the car ride was long.  I don't have anything else to say.

-Court

It's been a while...

Tomorrow is homecoming at NMMI and I'm as excited as...an...excited...thing.  It's a formal, so I spent the majority of my afternoon yesterday getting a dress, ect.  I wish we had some cool, vintage store in town, but uh, Carlsbad isn't exactly hip.  So I got a cute simi-formal from Bealls on sale for $20 bucks, and I like it, and I look good in it.  I'm borrowing shoes and a purse from Em (or Teresa)...and, yeah, I'm all giddy like it's the freaking prom or something.  Honestly though, I'm just happy I get to do anything with Derek...the weird part is, since it's in Roswell, I'm staying with his parents. (Who I met last week)  And he's going back to school.  Heh. I could go on about this, but for the sake of the sanity of the people...I won't.

In other news, tomorrow is moving day for my dad.  His new house is really pretty cool.  The only problem is that it's LITTERALLY right around the corner from Jsquared's house.   Not that it really matters much I suppose, it's just kind of...odd. I dunno.

Last weekend with ShoNo was verrrry awesome indeed.  I'm really glad I got to see her.  It was just like old times, man.  I hardly got to see Derek on Saturday, but eh, a teeny while is better then no time at all.  I won't mention who's fault it was that we had to leave all early like. No. I sure won't. *coughcoughNIKOLEcoughcough*  Anywho,  had myself a good time, met Derek's parents (as mentioned)  who seem really nice.  And Derek lives in a really farm house with a huge white fence around it.  I knew the kid was loaded.  Cool it folks, I'm totally kidding.  Ohhhh and I got to see Emery on uhm, Wednesday.  That was awesome, I miss that girl.  There was a pizza party at Pizza Inn for the kids in our church and we came and helped out and got free pizza.  Doesn't get better then that. 

Coming home on Sunday, so I should update and give you all the juicy detials about Friday night. Unless I don't.  I've missed my blog buddies, I'll get back in the swing of things when I get home, I promise.

-Court

Oh.  And it's kind of on the sad side that I know this, but uhm, tomorrow is the ever wonderful  John Mayer's birthday. 

Aub: So if you could, would you marry John Mayer, or Derek?

Me: In a fantasy?  John Mayer.  In reality? ...John Mayer.

Happy Birthday, JM!  Everybody go jam out to "Your Body is a Wonderland" to celebrate. <3

-C

Let's talk about how cool I am for being the side note in Leesha's blog.  That's right bitches, cooler then you, that's for sure.  Unless you're *Steeni Lee or Meph or somebody else cool like that.  Speaking of you *SL, I've realized that I've never never talked to you on AIM.  This must be changed ASAP. 

In other news, I'm trying to figure out how I can see Derek over Thanksgiving break, and it's just not working.  Damnitshitcrap.  I need to get my happy ass back to Carlsbad. *sigh*  I hate this freaking town. 

In other, other news, two people, whose names shall remain unmentioned for the time being for the sake of one of them (whew that was a mouthful) MADE OUT THIS WEEKEND.  And I could not stop saying "Oh my GOD."  when I was told. Oh my god. Let's just say one of the people involved is Jsquared.  Now then *zips it* But seriously, you'd flip if you were me, I swear.

Yes, the end.

-Court

HmMm, Mom was feeling bad, so she stayed home from work today...then she got to feeling better, so she took me to the mall.  MOMMY PLAYED HOOKIE!   Anywho, I got myself The Beautiful Mistake's album This is Who You Are and I have to say I'm pretty happy with it.  I also got some pimpin' new Converse shoeses.  Low top "Rasberry/Pink".  I would so take a picture for you people if A) I knew where my camera charger was (I don't) and B) I knew how to put pictures up with V3 (I don't)  So you're just going to have to take my word for it.   So the guy at FYE asked me if I was 21.  I mean, whoa now, I am SO not 21.  What was this guy on?  I mean, of course I'm drop dead gorgeous, but I look like  d-d-g 16 year old.  Not a 21 year old.  It probably had to do with some...deal for people who are 21 or older, but come on, why would you even ASK me that? 

Let's see. I told mom about the new information that I've come by about my old buddies in Carlsbad... 'bout Jsquared and whatnot.  I also talked to Burn Boy (Jeremiah) last night (again, sorry to you out of the loop people) Man I haven't taked to that kid in awhile.  I don't really know why I ever wasted my time with him though, really, he's the biggest pot head on the face of the earth.  Anywho, he's apparently hanging out with Coffee Boy (Drew) which is insanely weird because they HATED each other last year, and also the SP (Matt), which is weird too, 'cause I went to church with him.  ANYHOW, the point is, my mom was like "I don't know if I want you going back to Carlsbad, all your friends there were pot heads or crazy lesbains."  Hehehe...

In other news, I got a sample spray of Derek's man perfume today at Bealls.  *sigh*  Man I miss that kid. 

-Court

"You're the brightest shining star I've ever seen."

-Court

MmmMm.  My mom turned up the coldness in the fridge, so the water and cokes get kind of slushy.  It's heavenly. 

The Sox are so about to squish the Yankees.  WooT.

Tomorrow is 3 months with Derek.

And BAM that's all.

-Courtney

Geesh Court, MORE song lyrics?  I sure hate it when people post song lyrics.  What a hypocrite I am.  But take the time to read, if you will.  This song means a whole lot to me right now.  He is the brightest shining star I've ever seen. Today is three months.  Three months of bliss with you.  I love you.

The Beautiful Mistake

My Reminder

The years have gone by fast,
oh how we have grown
The times weren't always easy,
but hearts and minds revive
Now thoughts of you consume me,
and I wanted you to know
You're the brightest shining star I've ever seen

Oh how blessed we are,
to share in everything
Life before was cold, cold and empty
Everytime I see your face, I'm reminded of
What it means to be alive

The miles will pull apart,
and I will not lose sight
Of the gift that I've been handed
Been blessed so much but why?
I feel so undeserving,
but I wanted you to know
You're the brightest shining star I've ever seen

Oh how blessed we are,
to share in everything
Life before was cold, cold and empty
Everytime I see your face, I'm reminded of
What it means to be alive

All for you, to give you everything
All for you, it makes me want to try
All for you, I'll honor you forever

Like the sun that never sets
The brightest shining star, you're the brightest
shining star I've ever seen

Oh how blessed we are,
to share in everything
Life before was cold, cold and empty
Everytime I see your face, Im reminded of
What It means to be alive

-Court

Today is so boring, that there is absolutely nothing of intrest for me to write about.

Let's see.  I woke up at 10ish 'cause my baby called me over his free period.  And I think he's being so sweet, because he hardly ever calls me during his free period.  And then, then I hear moaning in the background. 

"What are you doing?"

"Watching porn."

OhhhHh boys.  Ah, well, at least he is a multitasker.  He can be sweet AND watch porn.  How impressive.  (Right, Leesha?)  Yeah, baby, happy 3 months to you too. =) 

Speaking of Leesha, she is the coolest.  I mean, who do you know that would risk their own neck for a bee?  I mean, would you? No you certianly would not.  That is why Leesha is a better person then you are.  In other news, *Steeni Lee, you sooo have not commented on my blog in like, two whole days.  And frankly, I don't like it.  I think you lose 5 cool points.  Tsk, tsk.  Oh and everyone be sure to check out Leesha's blog. (At this point, I would have made "Leesha" a link to her blog, but sadly,  I am not cool enough to know how to do that.) at http://graced.mindsay.com because I have my very own section in her blog.  That's right, "According to Court" means ME. ME COURT.  This very Court right here who is typing to you right now.  Is that cool or what?

I talked to Grace today.  She informed me that I must buy Death Cab for Cutie's most recent CD with the funny T name or I will be disowned.  So I better get to that.  Beacuse the last thing I want is to be disowned.  Oh, and I have to try out the warming sensation condoms for her.  Do yourself a favor and don't ask.  But really Grace, I'll get to that for you. =P 

The only other cool person I know is ShoNo, and she hasn't said anything cool enough today to go in my blog.  She must have fishes up her asshole. Hahaha, go inside jokes!

Somebody remind me I have a funny story about Mellow Yellow.

And...

That's...

ALL.

-Courtneyyy

I'm going to see Liz in a couple of hours, and I have to say I'm pretty nerveous.  Firstly, I've done some things I'm not sure if I want to tell her about.  And I'm worried she might ask and then I'll either have to break down and tell her, or lie.  And I'm doing a PRETTY good job about being truthful. Pretty good. Hey, I didn't say I was perfect, okay? 

-Court

My appointment with Liz was good.  She didn't ask anything that would make me give away...personal things.  So *whew* I was worried for nothing.  She kinda thinks I should move back to Carlsbad.  I kinda think so.  Nothing's set in stone yet, though.  The idea of living only an hour and a half from Derek is very exciting.  I could see him a couple of times a month. (if he stops getting tours...grrr)  Anyway, I'll be thinking about that. 

In other news, I just wrote Derek a love letter and did the most cliche', corny thing in the world by burning him a CD with my favorite love songs on it. *dreamy sigh* 

Just because I can, I will give you the line up.  WooT.

1. Hands Down- Dashboard Confessional

2. My Confession- Josh Groban

3. My Reminder- The Beautiful Mistake

4. Your Body is a Wonderland- John Mayer

5. Sweetest Goodbye- Maroon 5

6. Closer to You- The Wallflowers

7. Eight Days a Week- The Beatles

8. On Fire- Switchfoot

9. New American Classic- TBS

10. St. Patrick's Day- John Mayer

Awww. I'm so sweet, I know.

Love you all.

-Court

Alright bitches, do you know what today is? Of course you don't that's why I'm going to tell you.

Today...is...LEESHA'S BIRTHDAY!!!

Happy, happy, happiest to you kid.  Loooooooove you. 

Oh it also happenes to be my daddy's birthday, but in all honesty, that's just not really too exciting.  I mean, he's had a bunch of 'um...

-Courtney

On November 19th, I will be flying from Albequreque (Still can't spell that) to Carlsbad.  (Yeah, I don't know why I'm flying either, but dad is coughing up the money, so I'm not complaining.  I don't mind flying.)  Derek will be out of school for Thanksgiving break. (He gets like 10 days off or something.)  Do you know what this means?  This means I will get to spend AS MUCH TIME AS I DAMN WELL PLEASE WITH HIM.  No having to be back for formation.  No tours. No worrying about being caught out of uniform. No not being able to get on furlough.   Nothing.  Just me and Derek.  Yayayayayyayayayay.  I feel like I'm being spoiled.  I've gotten so used to only getting a few hours with him...I'M SO EXCITED. 

Just thought I'd share this with all you wonderful people.

In other news, I think Mindsay should let users block certian other users if they so desire.  Yup, that'd be pretty nice.  You should look into it Adam and Brian.

-Court

Last night, a little after ten, Derek sends me a text saying he's just too tired to chat.  I'm crushed, but I understand.  I do however call him and tell him he could at least have the decency to call and tell me he's to tired to talk. 

Thirty minutes later, I get a call.  "I couldn't sleep without talking to you.  I just couldn't..."

It's nice when that happens. Man I love that kid.

<333

-Court

"I need you now, much more then ever." - The Wallflowers

YES.  (But not with you)

Sorry, I have a boyfriend.

I saw a lady today in Cracker Barrel with a picture of George H. W. and a picture of dubya on her shirt.  Above them, it said "Dumb and Dumber".  It was awesome.  She must've been like...60.  Which somehow made it cooler.

Mom broke up with millionare.  Then met a new guy.  She's gunna go stay at his place in Albequreque this weekend.  "You can come if you want."  Hmphf.  Yeah, sure.  My other option is staying home alone all weekend...

I've been feelin' kinda of empty lately.  "Hollow" as Leesha would say.  I guess I've been forgetting to take my "happy pills" for the past few days...I hate that I have to take chemical balancing drugs to feel normal.  But they really do help. 

I think I'm gunna go watch some more of The N.

-Court

What to say about today? I think I'm going to start doing an exercise Leesha introduced to me.

Three Good Things About Today:

1.I got to talk to Derek this morning for about 1.3 minutes, and it brightened my entire morning. 

2. I rented and watched Saved which I thouroghly enjoyed.  And think you should watch.

3. I finished the book I was reading- Love and Other Four Letter Words.  Actually, I'm kind of sad it's over, but it had a really feel-good ending.

That said.  I seriously got a kick out of "Saved".  Except I have the feeling that some people might not understand that these uber-bible-thumping-fire-and-damnation-you're-going-to-HELL people in the movie are being made fun of.  Which saddens me.  It all starts because they're trying to "cure" the gay boy.  Just go watch it, okay?  Movies in which Mandy Moore is the bitch are the greatest.

Butcha wanna know the best part about today? Sure you do. Read on.

So I've recently been getting a bunch of out-of-the-blue IMs from old buddies in Carlsbad.  News travels fast in a small town.  Everyone seems to have heard that I'm moving back...and for the most part, everyone has seemed generally excited about it.  This seriously ups my take on the whole situation.  In other fantastic news, ShoNo is coming back home to Carlsbad!  I mean *coughs*  tragically the whole college thing isn't working out for her at this point in her life.  Who am I kidding? I'm psyced.  If you can handle it, there's MORE good news.  Mom has decided to move back to Carlsbad after this semester is over!  I'll still be living with my dad because mom will most likely be living in a little appartment...but she will be in the same town!  Today she said to me "What's keeping me here?  A job?  I can get a job somewhere else.  I need to be near my family."  *jumps for joy*  I hope this all works out, I can't believe things are going so smoothly.  *Clicks heals together*

Hey everybody, I'm coming home.

-Yedah (<----Haha, I heart you ShoNo)

The October wind blows rough, blows cold, blows free.  It catches you off gaurd as you stumble into the gray afternoon.  It whips up your skirt, lingering on your thighs.  Your perfect hair, so flat and straight, is transformed into a whirlwind color, undulating around your cheeks, cheeks pink and chap from this harsh wind.  This wind, it creeps into your blouse stinging your perfect breats, tracing your chest, chilling your very heart.  You drop to your knees as this wind penetrates your lungs, invading the very air you breathe.  It slides swiftly into your ears, blocking out all other sounds.  Some say the wind whispers.  You know that it yells.  Howls.  The wind moans.  Cries like a child.  Your vision is blurred by the tears that sting your eyes, tears brought on by the wind in your face, in your eyes, in your heart. 

This October wind blows harsh, blows feirce blows down into your soul.  It makes you stir at night as it engulphs your house, rattling your windows, finding every crack to sneak into.  You wake, startled, struggling to catch your breath as you pull your covers close.  But this wind takes no prisoners. And though your skin is warm, though your thighs, your arms, your breasts are warm, your heart remains cold.  As cold and harsh as the wind itself.   This October wind.

-Courtney

Read the entry below and tell me what you think. Please and thank you.

Three good things about today:

1. I'm going to Carlsbad for the weekend and...SHONO is going to be there too!  We're gunna get costumes and do Halloweenish things. YaY!

Uhhh, this is so hard.  I'll have to hit you back with numbers two and three.

I watched Ella Enchanted today.  If you've read the book, don't watch it. That was the worst butchered movie I've ever seen.  They hardly even kept the same plot as the book.  If you haven't read the book, (and you're a chick who likes love story ish movies) then you'd probably like it.  Actually, the book is better.  Just read the book.

In other news, as I mentioned I will be dressing up this Halloween.  The problem is, I had assumed I'd sit at home alone that night and maybe hand out candy,  therefor I have zero costume ideas.  I need something that can be easily obtained, is cheap, but at the same time not to tacky.  Any ideas?  Also this weekend I might, just MAYBE, perhaps get to see my Derek.  *crosses fingers*  I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but it's hard.  I'll be close...but being the dipshit that he is (love you baby) he has TOURS and has to march all weekend.  I'll see if I can get him to do a bit of rule bending for me.  *siiiigh*

Yes.  I am done. Byyye.

-Court (aka CoNo Yedah)

I really am trying to work on finding three good things every day.  Even if they're jsut simple things. So here are my other two.

2.  I talked to Derek for an hour and a half tonight, which is longer then usual.  Also, it made me feel fufilled and happy, and I didn't even feel too bad when it was time to go.

3.  I talked to Grace for awhile online, and she drew a characture of me and sent it to me!  It's so cool. I looove it.

Therepy tomorrow.  Which I am not looking forward to beacuse my dad is calling in and we are...discussing some of the "rules" and whatnot I'm going to have while living with him.  Not that I don't already know what they are.  (Go to school.  Be happy about it too, damnit.)

I still don't know what to be for Halloween.  Poo.

-Court

At 10:21 my mom came in my room and sternly told me to get up. "It's 10:21!" she said (which is, as luck would have it, why I know what time it was)  "Your appointment is at 11...GET UP."  I rolled over.  She blasted some form of strange and annoying music and opened my door so that my Pepper (my miniuter dachshund [insert weiner jokes])  came in and jumped on me. (Keep in mind that I climbed in bed around 5:30 and wasn't asleep until around 6)  I resisted until she came in and threatened to take away my trip to Carlsbad this weekend.  Whoa buddy I was up.   It didn't matter though, as we got to the appointment 30 minutes late (due more to mom's lack of being able to find her purse for 15 minutes then to my getting up late) beacuse Liz's office is all the way across town.  So we just canceled and rescedualed. Aw shucks. 

In other news, I talked to Derek last night and it doesn't appear as if I'll get to spend any/much time with him.  The best thing we can figure is for me to "go to church" with him.  Or maybe just...go to chuch- no quotation marks- with him.  Beacuse there is no way his STUPID school can not let him go to church.  But there is a way his mom could let him skip out on it. *sigh*  Although maybe not seeing him at all is better then seeing him for a few hours...that empty feeling I get after being with him is almost too much to bear.  But, no, if I get the chance I will savor every moment with him, 'cause gosh darn, I sure like that kid a lot. 

In other, other news, David ( http://superfly994.mindsay.com ) my friend from back in my Tejas days,  is still sick. My poor buddy.  Feel better DA-vid. 

Luff you guys.

-Court

Hey everybody, GUESS WHO!  That's right, me and my luuuver.  That's us at Triennium this summer.  *sigh* Ah, young love. 

Nextly.  Leesha, I would like to take you up on your offer for your bbay to fix my plug-ins, if it's still on the table. (The offer, that is.)  'cause they are really pissing me off.  And being broken and whatnot still.

-CourtNEY

Three Good Things About Today:

1.  I didn't have to go to my therapy appointment, which I probably could have used, yes, but it was still a big relief.

2. I had a really good talk with my mom over dinner.  I'm going to miss living wit her.

3.  A really cute boy checked me out at the resturant we ate at tonight.  I know what you're all saying, and yes, I have Derek.  My policy is "Look, don't touch."  And it always feels good to be checked out by someone, especially when they're as good looking as this guy was.

I actually even have a fourth today, which I'm going to add just because.

(4.) I took a really, really nice nap all afternoon.  It was cold and windy outside and it felt soo good to be able to snuggle under my covers and sleep so heavily. 

That said.  It's raining slush/ice/snow at the moment.  I hate the cold (if this wasn't clear in my 'October Wind' post.)  I really, really hope it clears up before tomorrow, beacuse mom is going to call in "sick" and we're going to Carlsbad! WooHoo!  But...we can't go if the roads are iced over.  Or we'll at least have to wait until the get un-iced over. 

<3 Love to my devoted readers, and everyone else, too.

-Court

Off to Carlsbad I go.  See you lovers Sunday night, unless I decide to stay longer, in which case I really don't know when I'm gunna be home.   I'mma have an aweeesome weekend, and nobody do anything too interesting, or too stupid while I'm gone.  And that's an order.

Before I go, I'd just like to say I GET TO GO SEE DEREK AND SHONO!  Just needed to brag. 

<3
< 3
<  3

-Court

P.S.  Those are hearts.  Not penisES. 

Hey everyone, guess what?  No, I didn't have to stay home.  My daddy got the internet!  So nobody even has to miss me!  Except I have about five hundred times more of a social life here.  Still.

Three Good Things About Today:

1. I got to see Derek!  It was only for about 10 minutes, but it left me feeling really good. 

2. I got to hang out with my ShooooNo.  Man, you're awesome.

3. I got to be with my daddy and my siiiister.  Yay!

It's good to be here.  I get to go be with Derek for a little bit longer tomorrow.  There was snow on the ground when I left Gallup this morning, and it was 65 when we got to Carlsbad.  That's right, DIE wind, DIE. 

I love all you bitches, but mostly I love Derek.  Your loss.

-Court

Three Good Things About Today

1. I got to be with Derek for an hour and a half today.  Words can simply not express how wonderfully happy this made me.  True, I wish it had been for longer, but I really can't complain.  I'm so in love.

2.  Shawna.  Denny's.  Spillage.  No more needs be said.

3. I ended up wearing my slinkly black skirt with my red-and-black striped stalkings and Mary Janes, making me look like the wicked witch of the...uh, east?  The one that died.  You know? Yes, that one.  Anyway, it lead many guys to check out my legs, some of them OLD, which was creepy, but very hilarious.

Shawna...I mean, ShoNo and I took Aub trick-or-treating (Yes, I know tonight is not Halloween, but these here people in the south insist we not miss church to go trick-or-treating, so the make everyone go the day before.) since my mom came by with her stupid boyfriend and told her she wouldn't take her.  I was trying so hard to be happy for her, because she's happy, even though I really don't like her boyfriend, but this, this just pissed me off.  She told Aubrey she was going to take her.  Then apparently showed up and said she was too busy.  What the fuck?  This isn't like my mom. Not at all.  I do not like him.  Anyway, taking Aub trick-or-treating was kind of fun, and we even went by Jsquared's house.  Her dad even gave me a hug, which was a bit awkward because I know some of the things he's said about me...but a nice gesture.  Speaking of J, I saw her as I was leaving to go to Roswell to see Derek.  My stomatch clenched.  I wonder if we can ever be friends again.  Time will tell I suppose. 

In other news, I saw Dana at Denny's, waved and said "Hi" to him...and got a look back like "Why are you waving at me?"  along with a very unenthusiastic wave.  In all honesty, it made me feel pretty bad.  I mean, I know we're not great buddies or anything, but couldn't he at least have given me a friendly "Hello"?  Oh well, it's nothing I'm going to lose sleep over.  Probably.

MSN still won't run on this computer. Poo.

And I'm out.

-Court

1.  I got this idea from *Steeni Lee, who in turn got it from Cas.  Only I changed the title up a little, and mine is so much cooler.

2.  Hardly anyone in real life calls me "Court".  My mom does sometimes, as well as my sister, but that's pretty much it.  My bestest buddy ShoNo calls me "Corky" or "CoNo" a lot.  Most everyone else calls me Courtney.  I kinda like having a little nick-name, even if it's simular to my real one.  I kind of feel like a different person on Mindsay.

3.  I went through a phase of usuing "Code Names" on my blog, and some of them stuck.  ShoNo's real name is Shawna (I almost always call her ShoNo, however), Jsquard is really Jadah, Grace is Victoria (Grace beacuse she's clumsy), and I think I've switched back to calling everyone else by their real names.

4.  My mom and dad were married for 20 years.  They got divorced last January.  It tore me apart.  I'm close to both my parents. 

5.  I have one little sister.  Her name is Aubrey.  We have a love/hate relationship.  I usually call her "Aub".  She's 11 years old, but looks about 13. 

6.  I'm bisexual.  I'm surpirsed at the number of people that don't know this.  I guess I got some riducule for it at first and it kinda scared me into not saying much about it.  Also I happen to be in love with a boy at the moment, so I'm not really worried about anyone else, male or female. 

7.  I'm in love.  If you don't find this obvious from some of my entries, you're not a very perseptive person.  I sometimes have a hard time admiting to people, especially adults that I am in love.   I feel like they're going to laugh in my face. "HA!" they will say. "You are 16 years old, you do not know what love is!"  Oh but I do. I doooo.  Love you Derek.

8.  Derek (see #7) goes to a hellish Military School (New Mexico Military Institue, NMMI (said as "nimmy") for short)  I hate this school.  It's in Roswell, NM which is about an hour and fifteen minutes from Carlsbad, and about 5 hours from Gallup.  The perks:  His uniform is sooo sexy.

9.  I had a really bad, lust and jealousy filled relationship with Jadah(Jsquared).  First as best friends, then as...more.  We did a lot of hurtful things to each other.  I ended our friendship/relationship last March.  We are currently not on good terms.  This could change in the near future.  I'm not sure if I want it to.  My dad's house is just around the corner from her's.

10.  My parents met in siminary.  My mom currently doesn't make her living as a preacher though.  My dad still does.  No, I'm not a complete good two shoes.  No, I'm not a complete rebel.  I'm a nice inbetween.

11.  I feel that Bush is an idiot and strongly hope he does not end up running our country for another 4 years.

12.  I am a John Mayer fanatic.  He's my absolute favorite musician.  (If this wasn't completely obvious after reading my profile.)  I think his lyrics, voice, and ability to play the guitar is amazing.  If you think otherwize, you should probably keep it to yourself.  "Your Body is a Wonderland" is my favorite song ever.

13.  This is a hard one to write.  I got very, very depressed after my parent's split up last year, so much so that I couldn't even get myself out of bed to go to school.  During this time, I hung out with some people who probably didn't have the best influance on me, along with smoking a fair amount of marijuana.  I failed the 10th grade, because, well, I didn't go for half a year.  In time, I got over my sevre depression, but being alone so much, I'd somewhat developed Social Anxiety Disorder.  I'm currently not in school, but hoping to change that very soon. 

14. The above does not make me a dumb person.  And if you think so, well, I'm sorry that you don't comprihend the situation.

15.  I'm a horrible speller.  But this, I'm sure, you've noticed.  

16.  I'm a Presbyterian. 

17.  I'm a very jealous person. It's not something I'm proud of, but it's very true.  My jealous mostly just comes up in relationships, but can also happen in friendships.

18. I think I have more blog friends then I do friends in real life. (Yeah, me too *Steeni Lee)  Which, in a way, is kind of pathetic, but in a way, is also kind of cool.  I love all you guys. <3  A special "Yo" to Mikey, Leesha, *Steeni Lee, and Meph. 

19.  I talk on the phone with Derek every single night at 10 o'clock (which is lights-out time for him) for 30 minutes or an hour, depending upon how tired it is .  Never, ever call me at or around 10, because I will not answer.  Period. 

20.  I'm a bit of a phone-a-phob.  If you want to talk to me on the phone, well it's up to you to call me and make the conversation flow.  I normally only talk to Derek, ShoNo, and my parents on the phone.  (and sometimes Grace)

21. I pretty much have 3 best friends. Grace is my best friend from back when I lived in Tejas.  We're still close, and I miss her a lot.  ShoNo and I went to school together at JMA (little tiny school) when I was a freshman and she was a sophmore.  We've been buddies for a long while, but didn't get really close until this summer.  We have some freaking good times.  Finally, there's Derek.  I know it's kinda corny, but he's not only my luvvver, he's one of my best friends. 

22.  I LOVVVE inside jokes, and have more then you can shake a stick at.  "Before I rape you, can I have a glass of water?"  "Derek de Graaf, you're such a Giraffe.  Shawna Patterson, you're an...ASS CRACK STACY! ASS CRACK!" "Dude, somebody pissed in the Sprite again."  "oocuse!"

23.  I feel like I should mention Jessa.  She was my girlfriend over the summer, and we're still good friends.  I think highly of her and we have the craziest MSN convos.  I would also like to mention that has a 3.55 GPA.  You rock Jessa.

24.  I hate it when people use the word "gay" to mean "stupid/lame".  And you know what?  Derek's got me saying it. *shakes my head*  I also hate the "n" word.  And you know what?  ShoNo's got me saying it.  I'm sorry!

25.  If you actually read all this, congratulations.  Leave me a comment and I will send you a cookie.  You can even choose what kind.

Love you all.

-Court

Happy Day Light Savings Time.

And Halloween, too, I guess.

But really, I already had Halloween, and I'm more excited about daylight savings time.

Read stuff about me down there. *points*

-Court

Three Good Things About Today

1. The 'rents let me stay in Carlsbad for a week or two. Yay!

2. Hangage (which is so a word) with Emery.  And Trunk-or-Treating.

3. I got MSN working!  It's the olllld version, but hey, it's MSN.

This evening we did Truck-or-Treating at my church for the kids.  It was great fun.  For those of you who don't know, everyone goes and parks their cars in a parking lot, (my church parking lot in this case) decorates their trunks, and hands out candy to the kids.  After that, we had hot dogs and ice cream inside.  It was great, I got to hang out with Emery.  Man I love that girl.  And I chatted with Sandon some, which was okay.  He can be cool.  Can being a key word here.

In other news, they look like lungs, goddamnit.  They just do.

(Right, Leesha?)

On a leaving note, I'd like to give a special "Yo" to Kayla.  You're on cool cat, man.  Man/woman/girl/dawg. =)

Three Good Things About Today

1. I talked to *Steeni via AIM. This made me very happpy.

2. I made ShoNo confess her secret. Boom baby.

3.  Derek called me over his lunch break.  I don't think I need to explain why this makes me happy.

So tomorrow is election day.  And not that what I say matters, but if you're of age, you should do everyone in this whole nation a favor...and go vote.  I've been pretty interested in this election, as it's the last one I won't be voting in. 

And if you have at least half a brain, you'll vote for Kerry.  Actually, you're all entitled to your own oppinion, even if you're wrong.

It snowed all morning, none of it stuck though.  It's going to be a lonnng winter. 

-Court

The air is clear.

*Takes a deep breath*

Ah that smells goooood.  I must be careful to keep it clean, I like breathing freely.

For today, things are good...

...with Jsquared.

-Court

*sigh*

Damn you, Ohio-ians!

POO!

Dear me, I am slacking off.

Three Good Things About Yesterday

1.  Cherrios currently come with a smaller, cheeper version of some children's books. We got "The Reletives Came" yesterday, and my dad read it to me over breakfast.  It just made me feel really good.

2. THE AIR IS CLEAR!

3. I had hoped this one could be "Kerry won!"  Poo.  I guess I will have to say...DID YOU HEAR ME BITCHES?! The air is clear.

-Court

Three Good Things About My Today

1.  I hung out with Jadah. (Jsquared) And it was cool, like 'old times', except without the bad, you might say.

2.  We (J and I) went to see Unpeppy! (Karey, an old buddy of mine, who fawking rawks)

3.  Aub made some gooood cake.  And I ate it. Yum.

Wow.  This afternoon was some good fun, I gotta say.  I went over to J's a bit after school got out.  I was nervous, no lie.  But the awkwardness and tension quickly gave way to cracking jokes and just chatting about life in general.  She can drive now, which is pretty crazy. Not just in the "so much has changed!" sense.  Also in the "I'm actually letting her drive me!?" sense. =P  Unpeppy was feeling kinda down today, because, well mostly boys are stupid.  So we went to see her. That was some awesomely good fun.  I had sex with her squishy penis pillow.  Yes, your first thought was correct, don't ask.  Good times.  I'm growing more and more excited about being back in Carlsbad.  I'm probably going to enroll in school quite soonishly.  Which is a bit scary, but also exciting.  I feel like this is a whole new begining, and I'm going to make the best of it.  Even if Bush is the president for 4 more years.

-Court

In light of what Shiny had to say about Spam:

Two Guilty in 1st Felony Spam Conviction

Updated 3:46 PM ET November 4, 2004

A brother and sister who sent junk e-mail to millions of America Online customers were convicted Wednesday in the nation's first felony prosecution of Internet spam distributors.

Jurors recommended that Jeremy Jaynes, 30, be sentenced to nine years in prison and fined Jessica DeGroot, 28, $7,500 after convicting them of three counts each of sending e-mails with fraudulent and untraceable routing information.

A third defendant, Richard Rutkowski, 30, was acquitted after deliberations of 1 1/2 days. All three defendants live in the Raleigh, N.C., area.

Prosecutors compared Jaynes and DeGroot to modern-day snake oil salesmen who use the Internet to peddle junk like a "FedEx refund processor" that supposedly allowed people to earn $75 an hour working from home.

In one month alone, Jaynes received 10,000 credit card orders, each for $39.95, for the processor.

"This was just a case of fraud," said prosecutor Gene Fishel. "This is a snake oil salesman in a new format."

Sounds like an easy way to make a cheap buck to me.  What I can't believe is that anyone would actually fall for this.

-Court

You Know The Drill

1.  I went to the library and checked out some books.  Yay reading.

2. Jessa came by, and I got to meet her boyfriend.  Although mostly it was just good to see Jessa. Her boy seems nice enough.

3.  Mom sent my medicine and it finally got here! That is to say, my anti-depressants. Glad to have those. Yes.

*sings* I'm in love and it feels fine.  I wish I could see Derek this weekend.  He still has 67 tours.  He thinks he'll be done the weekend before Christmas. Yeah, that's a pretty long while.  I miss him.  And really, it kinda hurts more knowing he's so close and yet we still can't be together. *le sigh*  I know I talk about him a lot.  But hey, nobody's requiring you to read this. 

Just a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down.

I sure like that kid a whole lot...

-Court

I got a men's curve sample today at Bealls.  Derek's sent.

My dad went to the High School today.  He talked to the counsoler, and there is a meeting for the three of us with the principal this morning.  I'll be starting school on Tuesday. (Because there is no school on Monday.)  I'm pretty freaking nervous.

-Court

I went to school to registar and get my scedual today.  It actually felt pretty good.  I saw J getitng out of her car, Unpeppy walking to class, and Paul walking also.  Leaving I saw Matt at Jeremiah, and both gave me hugs.  I wasn't even that nervous being there.  Oh, Jessa, I has A lunch. Ohhh well.

-Court

Today was good.  I hung out with Jay doing a whole lot of nothing and girl talk all afternoon and evening.  I won't bore you all with details, but I had a good time.  And my cat has a perpetually stuffy nose, which J finds absolutely hilarious.  =)

Derek didn't call me, or answer any of my calls all day.  I was worried sick, I can't even put into words the stress I was feeling.  After Jay left, I got online and low and behold, I had an e-mail on my Yahoo account.  Nobody e-mails me there, ever. "Please be Derek, please be Derek." I thought.  And...IT WAS!  His cellular is crapping up and he can't call me from his room phone.  THANK YOU DEAR LORD.  While I'm a little sad I won't get to talk to him until after this weekend...more then a little, actually...I'm also really, really happy he's not dead.  Or other bad things.  I think I'm going to kick his arse for worrying me so much though.  Thank goodness it's been resolved. 

Three Good Things About My Today

1.  I went to Jackie's 18th b-day party with J.  Then we picked up her Kris and drove around being loud. Fun stuff.

2.  I got to talk to Derek online for a couple of minutes earlier!!! That was my first time taking to him since Wednesday night. YaY.

3.  We got cable installed yesterday, digital cable with a lots of channels and...I JUST FOUND OUT I HAVE THE N! Yay, I can watch Degrassi! *dances*

I don't feel like updating. Your loss.

-Court

Hey people, guess what.

I talked to Derek online again, and he told me to try calling his room phone, even though he thought the school turned them off after taps.  So I called and...I GOT THROUGH!!! I wish I'd known the number before!  I could have been saved a lot of worrying and heartache.  Gosh.  So, we talked for a good hour or maybe more, and now I can talk to him even when his phone is brokkken. YaY.  *smiles widely* 

Enough for now.

-Court

I pretty much slept all morning, got up to eat lunch, read for a couple of hours, then went back to sleep.   Yeahhh, like I'mma get any sleep tonight.  Anywho, I got up at 4:30 or so and got ready and went to Crossroads. (My church thing where the old people of the church are paired up with the youth of the church, and we do fun stuff.  Good times all around.)  It's crazy how much fun it can actually be to sit around and chat with older folks.  Doris, my partner, went to Carlsbad High School, my school, about a gajillion years ago.  She's traveled to lots of neato places, and sometimes lends me books to read.  I like her.  Anywho, afterwards me and Emery went to see The Increadibles.  Darn good movie.   And of course me and Em pointed out all the accidental inuindos, beacuse we're dirty minded like that.  I love that girl.  Now then, see if you can figure out what my Three Good Things About Today were from reading this entry.  Because I don't feel like spelling them out for all yous guys right about now.  Have a good one, and that's an order.

-Court

I start school tomorrow.

Ohmanohmanohman.  I can't do this.  Yes, yes I can. Breathe, Court.  I can do this.  So can.  I'm gunna be a-okay.

Today was kind of a do nothing day.  I had to take Aub to see The Increadibles today.  But that was okay with me, it's one good movie.  Derek didn't get his phone back...=/ It'd be really good to talk to that kiddo tonight, but oh well.  I won't complain too much.  

Accourding to Karey, Jeremiah and Drew were gunna come by and see me/invite me to go get blazed with them, but thankfully I was at the movies with my seester. 

My head hurts.  Wish me luck.  I'm done.

- [[ (0 U |R -} |\| 3 Y <------- Hot shit, no?                                       

Three Good Things About My Today

1.  I went to school. 

2.  Did you hear me? SCHOOL! I didn't even feel too nervous.

3.  School, people. ESCUELA.  Old school, bi-atch!

Wow.  First day of school: completed.  And I am sooo still alive.  Can you believe it?  Actually, it was so much easier then I thought it'd be.  I can totally do this, man.  Jay took me to school.  We picked up Bryan on the way *grumbles* I'm not all too fond of that kid.  But he didn't like, give me evil looks and call me dirty names or anything.  So it's okay, I can deal.  We just kinda ignored each other and whatnot.  Which is fine by me.  Plus, it was apparently his turn to pick music for the ride, and we got to listen to Thursday, which is indeed nice.  Even stupid people can have good taste in music, I guess.  I got a teensy bit nervous before my first class, but Jadah played mommy and walked me to class and gave me a big hug, and told me I'd do fine.  It sounds corny, but really it helped.  Some people are really surprised to see me and J together.  It's weird, because I feel like it's back to old times, and forget that we spent 6 months hating each other.  (Hah, hah)    My electives are all ones...Spanish I, Theatre Arts I, Art I...so those classes are all full of freshman.  That's right, I have 3 classes with a bunch of prepubecent 14 year olds.  God help me. Actually, the kids in theatre seemed to think I was pretty cool.  *puffs chest out*  Yes, that's me, the big, bad 16 year old.  Let me lead the way.  I'm rambling.  Matt Waugh is in litterally half my classes, which is kinda funny for some reason or another.  No, maybe it's just me. 

Anyway.  ShoNo has still not come to Carlsbad...and she was supposed to be here a week ago, so I'm thinking she's backing out of her coming home plans.  Which makes me kinda sad, but I want her to do what makes her happy.  Plus, she has a boyyy there now, so I forgive her.  I GUESS.  (You listening Shawna?!)

In other news, my dad and I went to Wal-Mart this evening to get a few essentials.  That said, my dad can not pass up a good deal.  He also cannot pass up insanely weird things.  Put the two together, and he is buying it, damnit.  So there is this bin of hats for a buck each.  We look through them, they all say funny stuff like "Speedy's lawn service" and whatnot.  Then, we come across this trucker hat that says "Probemasta 2000"  I kid you not.  Just like that. Then there is a peekture of some alienish eyes and an alienish gun.  On the back is a huge orange swirl.  I pull it on and say "Yo, dad, I'm da probeMASTA!" I thought he was going to choke from laughter right there in Wal-Mart.  It was hillllarious. 

Needless to say, we bought the hat.  And another just like it. =)

-Court

AND!

Nikole.  Loves ya'.

EeeeeEe! WooT! OhhHhh YeahhHhh.

(and by now you've all guessed I have Derek related news.  And you're right.)

My baby is coming next (as in, not the one we're about to be living in, but the next one...hehe ShoNo) Saturday morning and staying until Sunday night!  HOW COMPLETELY AWESOME IS THAT?  Yeah-UH.

!YayayayayayayyayayayayayayayayaY! 

Day two of school was a hit.  I'm really falling into sync with things easily, which is awesome. 

After school I went to the church to get pictures made for the new directory.  While I was looking at peektures and picking the best ones, Jeremiah called.  "Hey, where are you?" he asked.  "At church getting pictures taken." I replied.  "Yeah. So, do you wanna come smoke a bowl with us?"  he said.  I was like "I'm. At. Church."  "We could come get you...from church?" he said.  "Uhm, maybe some other time.  Not tonight.  Yeah, bye." I said. 

Pshaw, in your face Germ!

Three Good Things About My Today

1.  I didn't smoke pot today. Yesss.

2.  I'm still freaking hyped about Derek coming. I can't wait.

3.  Seeing Karey at random times just makes me happy.

Over and out.

-Court

I talked to Derek for a good long while last night. His basketball season has just started. (He's a b-ball jock)  He said "I put a picture of you in my locker, and you won't believe how much shit the guys give me.  But I'm leaving it there, because I love seeing your face. They ask me why it's there, and I tell them it's because I love you.  Then they laugh more."  AwwwwwwwWww!  That. Is. So. Cliche'! And soooo cute.  I loves muh Derek.  <3 

In other news, there was a bit of drama with Jadah today, but uh, I don't think I'll go into that here.  It's mostly resolved.  ShoNo is on her way into town, YAY.  And next weekend, you guys know what I get to do next weekend? I get to do Derek.  Figuratively speaking.  Did I mention that I sure like him a whole lot?  Well, just in case you forgot, I DO.  Like him a lot, that is.

Some people need to go get an ice cream sandwich.  Strongbad needs to go get an ice cream sandwich.

-Court

My Derek finally got his cell back this afternoon. Yayyyy.  Our convesations as of late have been few and far between because of his stupid cellular.  Thank God his new one is in. 

Well it's Friday night, but I'm staying home because it's very, very cold outside, and I am very, very tired.  I really just want to curl up in bed and talk to my baby.  Yes, that sounds very nice.  And next weekend, he's coming to see me! Weeeee.  I have an assload of homework this weekend.  Ugh, now I remember why school sucks so much.  Anyway, me being the person I am, it won't get done until Sunday afternoon anyhow. *coughs*  ShoNo came to town yesterday, but had to leave again today because a snow storm is a'comin', and we here in the south are not equipt to deal with them.  So yeah, she has class back in Tejas on Monday, so long story short, she had to leave.  Which is kinda a bummer, but as I mentioned I'm cold and tired anyway. Yes, cold and tired.

7 days.

-Court

Three Good Things About My Today

1. TGIF!  I got through my first week of school almost flawlessly.  Hurray!

2.  My stuff is getting here tomorrow.  I am very excited indeed, I've been living out of a suitcase packed for a weekend for two weeks now.

3.  Derek got his cellular back! WooHoo...

Dad's making brownies. MmMmMmm YUM! 

-C to the ourtney biatches!

It's cold. 

There are not three good things about today.  There just aren't.  Derek called me randomly twice.  That sure was nice.  My stuff got here, but now I'm faced with unpacking it which is so utterly unappealing.  We have like no food in the house.  Thankfully dad gets paid on Monday and we are goin' grocery shoppin'.  I went to Jadah's and just kinda lounged around for awhile.  Helped her clean up her room a bit.  You can actually see the floor in there now...I didn't even know there was a floor in there! Heh, loves you Jay.   This time next weekend, my derek will be here. =D  They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I want my boy here, and I want him here NOW.

In other news, it rained alot of today, and that sucks. And it's cold. Did I mention it's cold?  Anyone wanna come unpack for me?  Please? 

-Court

Oh and.

6 days. WooT.

-Court-NAY

I am grounded form doing anything on the computer, watching any form of T.V., and talking to anyone on the phone because I did not go to church this morning.

Fuck that.

-Court

Tonight at youth we went door to door in the icey rain to collect cans for my churches food pantry.  Oh my gosh it was so freezing.  We had a good time though, and collected a lot of food consitering we only got 30 minutes.  Different kinds of food were worth different numbers of points- and sadly my team lost by about 250 points.  Oh well, it's all for the greater good.

After that I came home and made the chia tea Miller gave me on Friday.  Dang that was good. 

The worst part of the day is late evening, when I'm waiting for Derek to call.  Time drags so slowly, I get so antsy.  God I hate this time of day.  He should be calling any minute now, so I guess that's all for today.  Sorry it was such a crap entry.

-Court-KNEE

Today was rainy and cold and sucky.

And I had to get a flu shot.

Sounds like somebody's got a case of the MONDAYS!

On the bright side, I finanlly finished my god forsaken art project *demonic laugh*

That's all for today loves.

-Court

Well, well.  What we seem to have here is a studentus procrastoner.  Or more commonly know as a Courtney should be doing her homework right now but is blogging instead.  Luckily, or maybe not, I have nothing to say.

And if you want love

We'll make it

LoOove Makin'

4 days.

-Court

P.s. Longer entry soon.  Maybe.

*Steeni Lee and I are going to hell together.  Anyone care to join?  We're going to plan some mad parties, and you don't even have to bring a sweater.  It's plenty warm I'm sure.  It'll be like that massive orgie scene in The Matrix Reloaded.   Any takers?

-Court

Today was a good day.  I really have a lot of fun in biology, I've gotten pretty comfortable around the kiddos in there and we has ourselves some good fun.  Today we watched a movie about a wasp that humped a flower that he thought was a female wasp.  Well, you know, that wasn't the main point, but it made us laugh.  Yay for immaturity!  Art is also a ton of fun.  Yesterday, I walked by this kid Julio on my way to the sink and he said "Did you just grab my butt?"  So when I walked back by him, I really did it.  I'm not sure what drove me to do it, but his eyes got big, and the whole class took a collective breath, then started laughing.  Today he hit on me the whole period, which was even more hilarious, as I have no inclinations towards the boy what-so-ever.  It was just an odd random gesture, though it's gotten me a reputation in art class.  Anyhow, the project we're doing now is really fun. We're doing a non-objective (abstract) on this HUGE peice of paper...in pastels.  Pastels are so friggin' messy- it's great.  I got in a pastel-dust war with my buddy Ryan today.  I think he won though because I left class with a black handprint on my sholder.  Good times, good times.  Another cool new person I've been enjoying getting to know is Julia.  I've known who she is for awhile, but always thought she was too cool for me.  I kid you not.  This girl is freaking hilarious though, there's never a dull moment at the lunch table.  You rock Julia. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that school is going really well, and I'm happy.  This has been such a goal of mine for so long, I can't believe it was this easy to accomplish.  Thanks to all those who said prayers for me, I guess prayers really can be answered. 

Okay, enough sappy stuff.  Do you people know what is happening this very Saturday?  Come on, take a guess, just one guess. DEREK IS COMING TO SEE ME!   Oh wait, I've told you all that about 5 million times, haven't I?  I'm just so effing excited.  Just a couple more days.  *girlish squeel*

Alright all, there's the longer better entry I simi-promised you.  So...be happy.  Love and other good stuff like that.

-Court

We all know the girls

That I am talking about

Well they are time bombs

And they are ticking

And the only question's when

They'll blow up

Today is gunna be a good day man.  I can just feel it. 

Just 2 days, 2 nights.

I love you guys, and your mom's.

-Court

*Clears throat*  And now for some crazy 'poems' I wrote at five in the morning one day last spring.  I do hope you enjoy.

----------------------

Inside myself
I'm beside myself
Without myself
I doubt myself
Beyond this place
I wear a differant face
Rhyming sucks
I'm starting over

-----------------------

The image of your smiling face
Sends a shiver down my spine
And makes my skin crawl
Like one thousand worms
Although
Worms do not crawl

-----------------------------

Sit me down
With a bottle of IBC rootbeer
A John Mayer album
Plenty of chocolate
Internet access
And I'm happy for a day

------------------------

What was that?
I think I left my brian
At home
Today
Prehaps
You should ask me
Tomorrow

-------------------------

Bad poetry
At 5 in the morning
Is good for heart
Body
Mind
Soul
And buttox

------------------------

Only poems
With Five lines
Are any good

------------------------

I hate you so good
Hate is my high
Love is my low
Lust is beautiful
And cows go moo

-----------------------

I met a purple man
He wore a purple hat
I think he was gay
Not to mention purple

-------------------------

If you drink lemonade
Through your nose
You can feel it fizz
All the way down
To your toes

--------------------------

Once upon a time
Long ago and far away
Wait
I think I've heard
This story
Before

--------------------------

Pickles are nice
But yams are orange
And Matthew is a hen


----------------------------

Relevancy
Is irrlivent
Just like
Your mother
And her dog

-----------------------------

Sam Shuck
Wood Chuck
Feathers Pluck
Chicken Cluck
You wanna DUCK


--------------------------

My hands
Are cold
And it's all
Your fault
Now you shall
Freeze in hell
That's right
Freeze
In hell

-------------------

High
Die
Fry
Chickens in the sky
Goodbye

--------------------

As Mikey would say:

*bows*

-Court

I'm feeling a whole lot of different emotions right now.

Last night around 8, I headed over to Karey's.  We hung out for a couple of hours talked about boys, and friends, and drama, and then Julia came over.   Finally, an hour or so later, Jadah showed up.  It was a pretty awesome night.  I friggin' love all those girls.  I love spending time with Jadah and Karey, we've all had our ups and downs, but things always work themselves out.  As I said before, getting to know Julia has been pretty darn neat.  I really think highly of her.  Man, it was just "kick-A", right Jules?  Heh.

The only thing that brought the mood down last night is that Derek called me...while he was drinking.  I don't know, I've told him that it's his life, and I'm not going to be one of those controling girlfriends, but that I'd really perfer that he didn't drink.  So he told me he wouldn't.  I don't understand why he chose to do it anyway, but he did, and that's his choice.  But he called me while drinking.  That really hurt for some reason. 

 "I'm not drunk, baby."  he said. 

-Court

P.s.  He was originally going to be here at 8:00.  Then it got moved to 11:00.  Then 1:00...I hope he gets here soon...

Hello my loves, I will have for you all a very long updated indeed this afternoon.  For now, know that I had a wonderful weekend, but that saying goodbye is a bitch. 

Thank God there's only two days of school this week, I don't think I could make it through an entire week.  

*sigh*  Man Derek is awesome.

-Court

I guess I promised an update, huh?

Well...Derek got her 'round 12:45 on Saturday.  The majority of the weekend was spent cuddling in various places around my house and watching lots of movies.  On Saturday night, we filled like a huge serving bowl up with a ton of cheerios and sugar and chowed down.  Man that boy can eat.  I swear teenage boys have a hollow leg...WHERE DO YOU GUYS PUT IT ALL?  We had to go buy milk for the next morning though, because we used it all. And we got a movie at Hasting's.  And other junk at food jet.  And food at Taco Bell. (Dang we're pigs) I saw Kerry and her boy at T.B. and I yelled and waved at her through the drive through window.  Good times. Anyhow,  Aubrey was at Black River on the youth group retreat, so I slept in her room and Derek in mine (beacuse mine is cleaner)  but I got to lie with him in my bed for a few hours before we went to sleep.  I love being with him.  *sqUish*  The next morning, I slid in bed with him after dad left for church.  I wish I could do that more often.  *dreamy smile*  Then Sunday morning we went to church at which time everyone kept saying "You must be Derek!"  Heh, heh.  More lying around and watching football after church, and then we went to youth group.  Fun times there, 'cause Emery and Sean and Sandon all know my Derek from Triennium.  I love those guys.  Almost as much as I love Derek.  No, not quite.  Maybe Em. *rambles*  After youth Derek took me to Chili's where we proceeded to eat MORE food.  This boy is going to make me fat, geesh.  Afterwards, we came home, he packed his stuff off and he had to leave.  While we were cuddling before he left, the tears just started to slip down my cheeks.  I couldn't help it.  Pretty soon he was holding me and wiping away my tears while I sobbed.  I don't know why it hurts so bad when he leaves, but it seems to get harder to say goodbye every time.  *sigh*  Have I ever mentioned that I sure do love that kid?  Yesterday was our 4 month anniversary!  YaY, we actually got to be together on our day. 

 *happy happy joy joy WooT wOOt love love*

-Court-NAY (heh, loves you Mikey)

Derek will be here in 10 minutes for the second time in a number of days.

YEAH-UH. I am one happy Court.

Derek came, a good time was had, Derek left.  I'm in Fredricksburg (in between Austin and San Antonia) at my grandma's house for Thanksgiving.  The Aunts and cousins show up tomorrow.  It should be okay, though honestly at this point in my life I'm most thankful for my friends and my boyfriend.  Though of course I love my family.  Except for Graham. *sighs*

So I know it's a little early, but I'm gunna go ahead and say this.

I'm thankful for everyone who's helped me through my hard time. 

I'm thankful for those who are making my life right now so good.

I'm thankful for my family, even if they're a little devided and sepereate.

I'm thankful for Triennium, for meeting Derek, and for everything happening for a reason.

I'm thankful for friends, new and old- Shawna, Nikole, Jadah, Kaery, Julia, Danno, Victoria, Derek.

I'm thankful for all my Mindsay buddies, and having a blog so I can vent. *Steeni, Mikey, Meph, Kris, Leesha, Meg...everyone.  You guys all freaking rock.

I'm thankful.

Cheers, have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone, remember that you have things to be thankful for. 

-Courtney

P.s.  And I hope your food is good, but I'm sorry that no matter how good it is, it just won't be as good as mine.

I ate...at Rather Sweet today.  For those of you who did not know me before this summer...THIS IS THE ABSLOUTE BEST RESTURANT IN THE ENTIRE WORLD EVER.  And no, I have not been to every resturant in the whole world, but nothing can top this.  I ate a chicken salad sandwich at Rather Sweet every single day I was in Fredricksburg this summer, which was about half the summer. I litterly fantasize about eating these things it's so effing good.  I can't even tell you people, you have not lived until you've eaten at Rather Sweet, end of story.  I would eat there every day of my fucking life if I could.  And the cute tea pouring girl was there today!  Yeah, yeah, I know.  I just had a crush from afar this summer, though all I ever did is thank her for pouring me tea and smile at her. 

Anyhow.  I hope everyone had a jolly good turkey day, I shall be home Saturday eveningish.  There's your freaking update D-d-d-Danno, are you un-alpacaish now? HUH?

-Court

Is everyone sitting down?  I assume you are if you're at your computer, but if not, get that way.

Okay, sitting now?

I got home around 5 in the pm this evening, at which point my mom came and picked me and Aub up to take us to dinner.  Were she proceeded to tell us that she and Phil went shopping.

For wedding rings.

My mother...is getting married.  To Phil. That's right folks, as you might recall, The Man Who is Not my Father.  And since both Derek and Shawna proceeded to repeat "Are you SERIOUS?!" about five hundred times, I will tell you now. Unfortunately, I am SERIOUS.  Man this sucks.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I've never had the fantasy that my parents were going to get back together.  Pretty much from the day my mom told me they were splitting up, I knew there was no going back.  But God.  I've finally gotten used to the whole divorced thing, now my mom has to go change it up and add in another factor?  Thanks a lot mom.  I know if I was a good little child, I'd be happy for her.  I'd be glad she's doing something that makes her happy.  It's a good thing I've never been a 'good little child'.

If I'm found dead in the morning, you all know why.

-Court

Guess who showed up on my doorstep this morning. 
Screw it, you all know, don't even bother to guess.

DEREK DID! 

I'm so in love, man.

-Court

So I suppose I should update. 

I was colder today then I've been in a long, long time.  We got those stupid snow flurries, and massive amounts of chilly wind.  That means it was cold enough to really piss me off without being fun.  But other then the weather, today was okay.  However, it was a Monday.  And we all know how Courtney feels about those.  *grumbles*  I really didn't want to go to school this morning, but I got up and went anyway!  Hip Hip...HOORAY.  This may sound small, but it's an accomplishment for me. Really.

I ditched my mom yesterday.  Because she dragged Phil along to our lunch.  So I said screw it, and went to lunch with Derek.  I am NOT going to that wedding.

Cheer up, D-d-d-Danno, because I said.

-Court

New AIM screenname:  Leesha, 'Steen, Mikey, and all you other cool cats, I totally expect to be added.

s/n: CourtInLove

Corny, yes.  Do I love it? Yes.

-Court

There is no update today.

Damn, having a life is effecting my Mindsay time!

-Court

Calm, calm, calm.

I just got an e-mail from my mother about her wedding.  It seems the date has been moved to mid-June.  Which is better...I suppose. I don't know, I read a little of it and just broke down in tears.  This isn't fair.  She failed at marriage once,  I don't think she deserves a second chance. She asked about my dress size.

I'm tempted to write her back saying "Why do you need to know my dress size?  I'm sorry, were you under the impression that I was going to go to your wedding?"

I'm not going, I don't care what you people say.

-Court

P.s. A prayer on the wind for Jadah's grandpa...

Sing to me the song of the stars...

Seeing couples walking hand in hand to class rips me apart.  I hate that I can't see Derek every single day.  That I can't be with him all the time.  It hurts so much. It's not fair to have love like this and yet have our lives be so seperate.  I know, I'm complianing a lot today.  It's the first day I've been down in a long while.  Which is good, I guess, but doesn't make it much easier.  I'm sure things will be better tomorrow.  I just walked out of 6th hour feeling really bad.  And as soon as I got to Jadah, she told me something was wrong with her grandpa, but no one was sure what. (Turns out he had a minor stroke)  I knew things were going downhill from there.  The e-mail from my mom just hightened everything.  Sometimes everything just feels so imperfect.

On the brightside, I talked to Leesha for the first time in a month!  WooT.

And I know now...you're my only hope.

-Court

This is how the fire starts.

This is how we burn.

I got ditched because Shawna's boyfriend got jumped. 

I'm really effing tired.  But I feel like I'm wasting my weekend unless I'm out on the town.   But it doesn't really matter because Jim did something to piss somebody off and...

Anyway. 

So I finally have some time to blog, and I really don't feel like I have much to say.  Or, at least nothing I haven't said a gazillion times before. 

A. It's Cold.  I hate the cold. I'm tired of the cold. I'm cold.  And there's still 3 months of it.

B. I really miss Derek.  DAMN YOU PDA!

C. I am not going to that effing wedding.

Yes well.  I have an assload of homework this weekend.  But there's really no one to blame for that but myself.  I've been slacking in a couple of classes.  It's sort of funny, I cruise effortlessly through English, Spanish, and Theatre.  But when it comes to Biology and Geometry...it's just not there.  I have to work my butt off just to get by.  It's like that side of my brain doesn't work. a squared + b squared = c squared.  (Times Jsquared plus two)

Oh, Oh! Good news!  Tomorrow is Derek's last day of tours!  And then he's done. Out of trouble. NO MORE TOURS!  This would mean much more weekend time for me.  But nooooo. He plays Basketball.  Damn you sports, damn you to HELL.

*grumbles*

This is easy as Lovers go...

-Court

I've been having a bunch of me cheating on Derek nightmares.  I can't even explain what they're like.  In one, I cheated on him with J, and aftarwards I was like bawling and screaming and like "I can't believe I did that, how could I!?" They're just so horrible, and I wake up short of breath. (Did you know that SOB stands for 'shortness of breath' in medical terminology?) And it sucks.

I'm going to D-d-d-Danno's in a few to watch Donnie Darko, because apparently all the cool kids have seen it.  Plus I've been neglecting the Danno for my Derek.  Which is understandable, but I owe the Danno some catching up time. 

Yes, that's all.

-Court

Danno, you are the best.  And I'm glad you forgive me for your mom.  Hahaha, she really wasn't that bad, and your friends are cool too.  I had so much fun with you guys, we seriously have to do that again. 

Here's the night: Me, D-d-d-Danno, Jem, and Andrew.  DDR, which I did not partake in, but did enjoy watching very muchly. Good food, including Danno's Special Meat. *snickers*  Donnie Darko- Frank is freaking scary, but that movie sure makes you think. And subtitles are fun. And Meph, Andrew is a wuss for crying. Cake, icing, and crazy pictures.  That's all there is to say.  I had more fun then I've had in a long time...except maybe with Derek.

D-E-R-E-K, dearest Danno, get it right.  There is no "i" in there!  I don't care how you like to spell it, it's wrong your way!

*ahem*

-The Court

One bread

One body

One Lord of all

One cup of blessings

Which we bless

And we

Though many

Throughout the earth

We are one body in this

One Lord

-TC (The Court, thank you Jem for the new nick-name)

I can't take this anymore. I just can't. 

Dear computer smart friends:

 How the eff do I put a picture on my blog?!  I can't figure it out with this GD v3!

*grumbles*

Thank you, that is all.

-Court

Merry Christmas Courtney: 

Happy Birthday Court (Jan 31):

Hooray for material things making me feel better!  Or something...

-Court

I woke up this morning feeling like crap, but I went to school anyway.  I drug myself through the morning and called my dad after 2nd hour and he came and got me after 3rd.  I pretty much slept all day after that.  Blahhh I feel bad.  And I feel bad for missing school.  I hadn't missed a day since I started back until now.  But I DID make an attempt, and I really just felt crummy.

The trees are back by popular demand *ahem* from DANNO.  (Sorry I missed you today buddy.)

-Court 

Danno is going to be my maid of honor when I get married. WooT.

Rumor has it that our varsity boys basketball team is playing the NMMI boys...that's right folks, DEREK AND HIS TEAM!  *jumps around like a goose*  No, I have actually never seen a goose jump.  But hey, it could happen...

Anyhow.  I felt mostly better today, except during theatre when I felt like I was going to faint.  But all I needed  was a little food.  Or two chimichangas and an apple.  And then I felt much better.  And after escuela, I went to Sonic with Kerry and Karey (TAFKAP remember?!), which was very cool indeed. I like those girls, I do. 

...and then I found five dollars.

-Court

Last night, I watched John Mayer on T.V.

Heaven.

Not only that, but it was the recording of his performance at the Eric Clapton Guitar Festival on June 5th.  As some of you may recall, I witnessed this.  As in, I was standing 30 feet away. *girlish squeal*  You could actually hear me screaming a couple of times.  Eeeee!

So I talked to Derek for a long while tonight, and now D- to the Anno and Andrew are both online, yet both ignoring me.  Thanks guys.

I have not heard from Shawna since she ditched me last Saturday. Pfft.

Tomorrow is Friday, and that's nice.  I'm going to bed.

-Court

Prayers from a friend who is hurting.

-Court

"John Mayer has a T.V. Show" on VH1 last night.  More heaven.  Ohhhhh Godddd. 

But then, I found out JM doesn't write all his own lyrics anymore, which makes me sad.  Maybe if we deny it and don't talk about it, it won't be true.

I took a really hard test in geometry today. Dang I hate that class. Hate, hate, hate.  Only one more week of school and then it's BREAK TIME! Which means LOTS OF TIME WITH DEREK.

Perhaps a longer less sucky entry in the near to distant future.

-Court

Saturday night movie night is what keeps me going through the week. I love those guys.

-Court

Dad told me I could stay out as late as I wanted as long as I went to church this morning.  So I stayed at Danno's until like 2:15 in the morning.  We watched May and Mystery Science Theatre 3000.  The former was weird and creepy, but very good.  I recomend it, but a couple of parts are pretty gorey.  The latter really lightened the mood and gave us all a much needed laugh. Or laughs. Or continuous laugh.

And then there's the whole weirdness with a certian friend that I think I'll choose not to go into here.

Anyway, church this morning was awesome.  Dad did two minisermons (there's another name for it, but I'm currently not remembering what it is) instead of one big one, which was cool.  The first one was about the desert in bloom.  How it only rains in some deserts once or so a year, but how after it rains, everything instantly springs to life.  The desert blooms.  The second, he started off by talking about a passage he read from a devotional book.  It said "God danced the creation."  Wow, what a neat way to put it.  The creation is a dance, and God is the dancer.  He went on to ask us to think about the dry parts in our life, and to know that God longs to dance on them.  It made me think, and feel really good.  Not only about my own life, but the lives of some of my friends.  And I prayed for them.  I just want everyone to feel fufilled and happy.  I wish I could give happiness to all my friends, but I know it's not that easy.  So I'll just keep praying.

-Court

I'm forgiven, just lost a little trust, I feel a little guilty, things are a bit awkward with afore mentioned friend but...all is well that ends well.

*ahem*

Danno gave me some World's Best Choclate today a long with his hug, which made me feel very speical indeed.  Down with the alpaca.

-Court

'I'm standing on the edge of me.'

I haven't been getting as much sleep as I like to get lately, and it's kind of taken it's toll.  Which is no good consitering it's final's week. And yes, I for one am quite tired about reading about finals, so I shall not elaborate.

Aw man...I just realized there is cat throw up all over my computer speaker.  I think I have to go elsewhere.

-Court

I am currently feeling quite proud of myself.  Drew and Jeremiah called yesterday and wanted to hang out, so I thought "Why not?" and said sure.  So they came by and spent the better part of the two hours I was with them trying to convince me to smoke a bowl with them.  And you know what?  I repeatedly turned them down.  It was somewhat tempting, but it was pretty easy for the most part. A senior at my school commited suicide over the weekend, mostly because he was intoxicated. Doing drugs really is selfish. I thought about how worried I felt a couple of weeks ago when I was drinking.  And about how disappointed Emery and Grace would be with me. I'm happy about my decision. I doubt Jeremiah and Drew want to hang out with me again, but hey, that's okay. 

-Court

Thursday: Exam, exam, exam. Study for next day exams.

Friday: Exam, exam, exam. NO MORE SCHOOL! Secret Santa Party at Julia's. Derek. Lock-in.

-Court

"Sometimes circles run around you."

Tonight I made Turkish Delight with my dad.  It's a family tradition to make this treat every year.  It is positively the best chocolate ever.  Delicious. 

I took my my finals today in Biology Geometry, and English.  I did alright I suppose.  A couple times during the testing, I started thinking about Derek, and about...the other boy.  And I started flipping out. I had to tell my self to focus on the test and worry later.  Or better yet, worry not at all.

Derek comes tomorrow.  I'm feeling oddly unexcited.  And it makes me feel horrible that I'm not more excited.  God I hate this. 

-Court

So I should update.  But I don't want to. So I'll make it short.

-The Secret Santa Party at Julia's house was very cool.  Those girls are pretty awesome indeed.  Miller had me for S.S. and she gave me a really cute pink belt, some pink lip gloss, and a pink flower pin.  I love, love, love them.  I think Julia really liked her present from me.  I gave her a Shout of Joy which is a jewlrey peice that my grandfather started when he was a jeweler.  It has since evolved and is sold 'round about these days, but it's still a family...thing.  I wear mine always.

-My time with Derek was wonderful.  It helped me sort out the problems I was having with afore mentioned "other boy".  Derek means the world to me, and it was good to be with him to have a reminder of that.  I also gave Derek a shout, which he loved even more then Julia liked hers.  Derek gave me a beautiful simple silver braclet with a heart as a clasp.  I think it is the Christmas for jewelry.

-The lockin was pretty dang fun.  Mostly I was just happy to be with Derek.  The absolute best part was lying on the roof of my church with him at 2 in the morning in a sleeping bag under the stars...*le sigh*

-Movie night this week was just me 'n Danno.  We watched Office Space and Kung Pow Enter the Fist.  Both very funny in differnt ways.  Dan and I both have quirky senses of humor.  <3 you kid.

-I'm having some difficulties with my mom.  I'm supposed to be at her house this week, but I came home.  I just...*sigh* I don't know.  Possibly more on this later.

-Court

Heh, heh.  It's Andrew.

Censored, of course.  I'm taken.

-Court

Just to clear things up.  I couple entries ago when I wrote "I was so worried when I was drinking..." What I meant to say was "I was so worried when Derek was drinking."  No worries guys, I was not drinking.  Excuse my crazy typo.  Dang.

-Court

Entry I wrote yesterday that didn't post for some odd reason:

My mom's computer had to have it's memory erased because it was so bugged up.  All my pictures...GONE.  Triennium, Eric Clapton Guitar Festival, Mo Ranch, Derek...everything. All down the freaking drain. *sigh*  Oh well.  Guess I might as well get over it, I can't exactly do anything about it.  I get my new camera part (I lost my charger in October) for Xmas and then I'm back in action with the digital for shizzile.  So really I'm pretty okay. 

Derek is coming tomorrow.  Five months together!  <3  Then Wednesday I am going with my mom and my seester to shop in Lubbock.  WooT.  I hope I can get along with her all day. I shall try though, because we are buying me things.  And the trip will be much more pleasant over all if we can keep our cool.  Then Thursday Danno and I are going in search of Crunk.  The only place we know of that carries it in town is Hastings, but Dan bought the last two cans yesterday.  And that boy is addicted.  So we figure that there has to be a gas station somewhere in this town that sells it.  It's one crazy engery drink.  It's like it's so bad it's good.  Horny Goat Weed! Eh, Danno?  Heh. 

In other news, JM is up for two grammys for "Daughters"!  Yay, I am so excited, I hope, hope, HOPE he wins. 

-Court

Today was awesome.  Yay for five months.  Mostly it was a lot of movies, a lot of friends, and a lot of...well, anyway. 

This morning Jay dropped by for tape (She wrapped some presents for me because I am apparently 'wrapping impaired' and left her tape here) and we had a plesant half an hour or so.  Then Derek and I went to Danno's after lunch for a couple of hours.  Which is always quite nice, even if his sister does hate me. And finally Shawna dropped by this evening.  So I got to see a bunch of my favorite people all in one day.  Except Victoria.  I haven't seen her in a YEAR. Isn't that crizazy? I thought so too. 

Tomorrow I am going shopping in Lubbock with my mom.  *prays that we don't fight* Except it's supposed to snow.  Or it might perhaps. In which case we can't leave. Which would suck.  But the mall is going to be ultra crowded I'm sure.   My dad gave me a big bill.  Boy am I happy, I get to buy other people presents with dad's money, and buy me presents with mom's money.  I suppose divorce can rarely have it's benifits. Heh, heh. Rarely.

Dad and I are doing a skit at the late Xmas eve service.  We went over it today, I think it's gunna be really good.  Yup...sure is.  I think I'm done.

-Court

If you'll notice, I'm not in Lubbock because it SNOWED. 

Derek called me at seven this morning and said "Do me a favor and look out your window."  And there was snow there!  It's like Derek made it snow.  Or I'm weird.  Yeah.

-Court

Consider yourself updated.

-THE Court

More snow.  It's freaking cold out there, I don't know how you Yanks put up with this shiznit all winter long, yo.  The Danno took me to lunch at Golden China.  That there is some good eatin'.  Then we went to four different gas stations looking for Crunk but to no avail.  There is no Crunk energy drink in this town, damnit.  My throat hurts a whole lot because last night and today I've been screaming like a mofo.  Mostly because people keep throwing snowballs at me and it causes me to scream.  Yes indeed.  Last night ShoNo and I went out and ended up at Dan's.  Fun times right there.  I love introducing two friends from seperate places to one another and having them get along.  It makes me feel happy.  In sad news, as much as I am not a fan of cold, I was really hoping to have a white Christmas (never had one before), but the snow is supposed to melt tomorrow. So poo. 

I love being happy.  Hooray for friends.  Hooray for happy pills. Hooray for family, even if it's a little messed up.  Hooray for Jesus' birth! 

-Court

I don't understand

how anyone

can not believe.

-Court

I think for the first time ever, Christmas was definititly (yes, spelled like that) more about the celebration of the birth of Christ then presents or Santa.  I guess it took 16 years of Christmas to see that.

I went to two Christmas eve services last night, the early service at 7 and the late one at 11.  A friend of mine who is "questioning his faith" (Shall we say) came with me to the early service.  He didn't participate much, but I was happy for him to be there.  We have lots of old people in our church so most of their familes come to visit them.  It was good to see everyone's grandkids running around, you could just feel the excitement and antisipation in the air.  The late service however was really a great experiance for me.  Danno ( who believes in nothing) came to that one.  The only others who were there were my mother and her fiance Phil, Kim and her significant other Dave (who is the pastor of the First Christian Church and a good friend of my Dad's), Emery, Danno, my Dad, and myself.  Oh, and Aubrey who was asleep on the pack pew. =)  My dad put on the Homely skit we've been rehersing and it went really well.   We had communion standing around the Lord's table by candle light.  I just felt really close to the God and the people there.  Then we sang silent night.  Now, I've heard this song sung many times but never so beautifully as it was last night.  It just felt so good to have all my family memebers there.  Even if Aub was asleep, even if I'm angry at my mom, even if I don't exactly like Phil...it was nice to celebrate the birth and the resurection of Chirst with them.

Merry Christmas everyone. 

My Christ light your way.

-Court

I am very, very sleepy.  Once again here in Fredricksburg.

I love my family.  Two sticks of butter. And that's all I will say for now. 

Merry Christmas Ovo. Right babe? =P

-Court

I'm really happy to be here!

I'm getting my room re-done for Xmas!  I didn't even know!  Missiemom (my grandma)  made me pillows and bought me sheets and a new down comforter...oh man I'm so excited.  And my stupid curtians are getting taken down, AND the ugly wall with panneling is getting painted! WooT wOOt.  Missiemom also gave me a whole freaking bunch of Clove gum.  That stuff is amazingly good.

Today we ate at Rather Sweet for lunch.  MmMmm.  And then I went shopping for awhile in downtown Fredricksburg.  I got Grace her gift, I really like it too.  But I can't say what it is because she reads this. 

Did I mention I love my family?  But I do miss you crazy kids back home.  No worries, I'll see you all next week.

-Court

I've had a cold this week but I just really felt lousy today.  I slept the greater portion of the day.  I'm reading Fight Club again.  If you haven't read it, do.  I'm waiting around for 10 o'clock so I can call Derek.  Time seems to be moving extra slowly this evening. 

For any of you keeping up with the situation, I talked to Derek for three hours last night and worked on the issue. So I'm feeling much better. 

Somebody interesting should really get online.  Yeah, anytime now. 

*achOOo, achooO*  I think that's my cue to leave.

-Court

I think I gave my sick to Derek.  He is feeling a bit under the weather.  Which is a very funny phrase in my personal oppinion.  Anyhow, that crazy kid is going snowboarding tomorrow and the next day, so I hope hope he isn't feeling too bad.  I'm going to feel really bad if he is too sickly to enjoy boarding.  And I need to feel better in order to go shop in San Antonio later in the week.  Danm you cold weather!  Damn you viruses!  Damn, damn, damn it all!

Danno and ShoNo, I miss you guys.  *cyber hug*  *sigh* It's just not the same Dan. 

-Court 

I feel even worse today.  It's not fair to be sick over Xmas break, it's just not.  Now my tonsils (sp?) hurt.  I can hardly swallow. Dang, I'm already tired of being sick.  I really just want to go to sleep, but I have to stay up awhile so I can call my loooover boy. 

Yeah, that's all.

-Court

I'm slowly but surely recovering! Hooray and whatnot!  I still slept most of the day today, but I can swallow now.  Which is no small feet I assure you.   And I can eat solid food, which is also quite nice. 

So Dan has come over from the dark side (aka LJ) to join the forces of light (aka Mindsay)  You can visit that silly mofo at http://pdiddyandco.mindsay.com . 

Anyhow, I found out my somewhat older cousin Graham has worse strep then I do/did.  So I also don't feel as bad.  His little brother Sam is here for the night.  We're not doing anything for New Year's because everyone is so sickly, but I'm still glad to be with family.  And Sammy is one cool little cousin I must say. 

In other news, my Aunt Brooks (Sam and Grahams mom, my daddy's sister) got a new car and boy is it spiffy.  She had a BMW that she loved, but her company has a policy that she has to get a new car every 5 years or they don't...pay something or other.  Yeah, I dunno. Dang rich people.  It's dang cool though.  You can be like "Locate nearest Mexican resturant" and that thing will tell you.  That's pimp guys, it sho' 'nuff is.

Gee, I'm kinda hyper.  I'm just so happy to be feeling better.  Proving that prayer works. And, you know, anti-bioticals.

-Court

I will follow the trend in wishing all you suckas a very happy new year.  Now I must go work on some new years resolutions. 

-Court

My New Year's resolution is to be COMPLETELY faithful to Derek.

It's sad that I have to make that, but I think it's something I can actually do.             

You can hold me to this Dan. 

Once again, happy New Year kiddos.  Have a good one, 'cause Court said.

-Court

Many thanks to Ms Dania (msdania.mindsay.com) for my header picture and theme idea.  I love, love, love it.  Hooray for John Mayer!

Speaking of that sexy guy, I ruined Danno's Xmas present to me!  I bought the Any Given Thursday concert on DVD with some Christmas money...and Danno had already gotten it for me for Xmas.  Well you know you picked something the reciving person would have loved if they buy it for themselves before you get it to them. That sentance didn't make very much sense.  But anyhow, I feel kinda bad, although Dan is determined to get me another present. (You don't have to Dan) And by the way, it's a freaking great concert. *swoons*

I'm going home tomorrow and SCHOOL the next day. Yipes.  Oh well, I knew it was coming.  I don't wanna go back though...*whines*  But I do miss my kiddos at home.  So I guess it's good to be going back.  Plus, the almightly DEREK is coming to see me Monday after school (or you know, *ahem* if I talk my my into letting me skip part of the day.) 

I wonder what 2005 will bring....

-Court

P.s. YAY for my new theme!

And Courtney is back in New Mexico.  Boo-YA.  The trip was tolerable.  We listened to the Colts/Broncos game on the radio for awhile.  They kept talking about this play called "Naked Bootleg".  Apparently it's where the linemen go one way and the quarterback goes the other, so the quarterback is 'naked'.  (This is just minimal information I got from my dad, I don't understand football.)  Anyway,  the announcer guy started yelling in that excited voice that announcer guys get saying "The quarterback is naked in the endzone, he's NAKED in the endzone!"  I found this quite funny indeed. Maybe it was just me.

Okay, breaking news.  Guess what biatches?  Derek is currently on his way to come see me.  Because life is wonderful.  I must go unpack, la la la. 

-Court

The first day back at school after that lovely two week break was surprisingly...not that bad.  Oh sure, we all complained about having to be back all day, but it was kind of a blah do nothing day.  Lots-o kiddos were getting scedual changes for the new semester and whatnot, so most of the teachers kinda slacked.  I'm sure they were as (seemingly) unhappy to be back as the students were though, so that contributed.  And I suppose it didn't hurt that I knew Derek would be waiting for me at home at the end of my day. <3  We had a really nice evening, and I got to take him to dinner for once.  That's right, Courtney actually had money!  It felt good to be able to treat him.  Our waitress at Chili's handing him the bill and I felt great being able to say "No, that's for me."  Who wears the daddy pants now?! We also saw Jules, Miller, and the Marissa's (the probably hate being refered to as that, but hey) there.  I looooooved flaunting my Derek to them.  Julia was really good about saying "I've heard soooo much about you." I remember how much it meant to me for Derek's buddies to say that to me.  I just felt really good about tonight.  I love being with Derek, he makes me feel so special.  He's constantly telling me how wonderful and beautiful I am, and I know he means it...what more could I ask for?   *sigh* Anyhow, nextly we wandered the halls...er, iles of Wal-Mart and looked at everything.  And lo and behold, we found a ShoNo.  Lemme tell you, being with Derek and seeing Julia and ShoNo all in one evening...that makes for one fantabulous day.  Finally we came back to my casa and watched some old school Star Wars until he had to leave.  Gosh, leaving is the hardest part.  You know what's pathetic? I almost always cry.  I've been pretty happy in general the last couple of months, but I just can't stand for Derek to be leaving.  It gets me every freaking time. Ah, young love.

SooOo.  I've been avoiding Andrew to some extint.  I need to talk to that kid, but it's gunna be a little tough. He called twice today, but Derek was here and no-sir-y-bob was I ready to deal with that.   I'm sorry kid, I just feel a little awkward still right now.  Feelings of guilt and whatnot... (I left you a note in art though. So be sure to get that mofo)

All in all it was an extreamly good day especially since it was my first day back from break AND a Monday. 

<3 from the Court to you

My sister caught my strep.  My dad has a *cringe* throwing up sick. For those of you who do not know, I have a terrible fear of throw up. Weird, I know.  And my house is small.  And...*cries* I hate this.  I don't wanna talk about it. 

I went to sleep quite late last night, woke up QUITE late this morning and was sleepy all day.  After school Jay and I went to Hasting's and rented Harold and Kumar go to White Castle.  It was funny in the 'I probably don't want to see this again.' kinda way. And I finally bought the Hawthorne Heights CD!  And it was the last one bitches! Yeah-Uh. In other news Julia, Marissa, Miller, and Emery are all going to Albequrque for All-State tomorrow.  Best of luck guys, have a freaking blast. 

Thank you, that is all.

Hey guys, look who.

Me and my baby, that's who. Aren't we cute? I think so too.

-Court

WooT for Chinese food, stalkers from Loving, 50 lb bags of dog food, the toy isle, haircuts, cold McDonald's food, and being loud! 

-Court

Snowball: my school's winter formal.  Date: January 15 Tickets: $10 each.  I bought two. One for me, one for Derek.  I am going dress shopping this weekend.

Guess who has a basketball game that day?  Guess who can't go? Yeah, Derek.

Guess who's going to go jump off a cliff?

-Court

...LOVE!

Despite the fact that some people *ahem ANDREW ahem*  kept me on the stinkin' phone until almost two in the morning...I had a pretty good day.  I fell fast asleep in first hour (we've done absolutely nothing in Spanish all week) and woke with a start to Mrs. Knight calling my name.  I freaked out because I thought I was in trouble, but it turns out she was telling me to go to my counselour, Mr. Hale's office.  My dad was there and we all talked about my grades.   Which are...great!  I'm so excited.  They were both so proud of me and I was really proud of myself. It's great to see some results for the work I'm putting in.  And it's even greater to have people pleased with me for these actions. WooT.

The day seemed to go by really quickly today for some reason, which was fantabulous as well.  AnnNnd I understand very fully what we're doing in geometry.  It was just a pretty good day.  Except that I'm mad at Derek for not being able to come to Snowball and Jadah kept yelling at me for "flirting" with Andrew. 

In other news, 5 or 7.3 boys or so got expelled for drinking hard liquor.  During first hour.  How stupid can one be?  Pretty stupid, apparently. 

Lastly, I my new bedding got in today! I will take a picture once I get my dust ruffle and new curtians up and show all you crazy kids.  Because it looks durn spiffy. =D  And it makes me feel happppy.

-Court

Life is stupid. Somebody drive me to Roswell.

-Court

*does a jig*  Today was good for oh-so-many reasons.  Number A, I went to Lubbock to get...my Snowball dress!  I won't even tell you mother effers how much I laid down on that thing, because it kind of embarasses me.  Just so you know though, it's fabulous. I want to feel like a princess for a day, so sue me.  Pictures soon to come.  I also got a dress to wear to...my mom's wedding. Yes, that's right. I'm going.  Lots of people tried to convince me to go, but it wasn't until I had a talk with Andrew last night that I really decided it was something I need to do.  So thanks Andrew, it's all you kid.  The trip was very nice, you know, appart from getting lost in Lubbock as we were trying to leave and litterally driving in circles for an hour and a half, and you know, leaving my purse in the bathroom of the Town and Country in Seagraves and freaking out and having to backtrack., not to mention getting pulled over in Tejas for having a break light out.  Fun stuff, let me say. 

Okay now then, this next good news, is so good, that...gosh I can't even put into words how good it is.  Let me attempt anyway.  The game that was perventing Derek from coming with me to Snowball has a high possibility of being moved to the day before.  As in, the game would be on Friday, the day before the dance and not Saturday, (This word spelled correclty and brought to you by Jadah) the day of the dance.  You see what I'm getting at here, yes? DEREK GETS TO COME AFTER ALL.  I feel there is no farther explination nessisary. 

Well gahdang, I'm sorry to bore all you crazy kids with talk of my silly little formal, but it's what's on my silly little mind for the time being.  Okay, so my mind's not THAT little.  It is pretty silly though.  In other news, Andrew got his wisdom teeth taken out yesterday and therefore is on some pretty heavy pain killers.  In short, this makes me laugh.  Plus, he apparently resembles a JA RULEish chipmuck.  Heh, heh.  ShoNo and I went out and listened to some Dane Cook as we drove aimlessly around our small town.  My stomatch muscles and cheeks still hurt form laughing.  This guy is quite funny indeed.  This also makes me laugh. 

In other, other news, I have an essay due on Monday that I must finish in the morrrow that I have barely started (Oh procrastination!) which is preventing me form being able to go see my honey buns (no idea why I just called him that) tomorrow after church.  So dang. 

In final news...no, okay, I think I'm done. Yes.

-Court

Yesterday was a fun day indeed. Jay came over so I could try on my dress on for her. She likes my dress very muchly. (as well she should)  It's a nice dress, but let's be honest: I make it look damn sexy.  Only Joshin'.  Sorta.  Anywho, then we went to her casa and watched Garden State.  Oh man that is a good movie.  It almost made me cry.  It's so sweet.  Then in the afternoon we went to Andrew's house.  That kid has some puffy cheeks. Heh, he had his wisdom teeth pulled on Friday.  Poor kid.  He looks like a chipmunk.  I kid you not.  In conclusion, my dress kicks ass, you should watch Garden State, and Andrew is a rodent. Thank you, that is all.

-Court

Today was the day for missing school.

My sister had a strep relaps and came home shortly after school began. Danno was not at school today. (most likely do to herpes, but I am unsure as of now) (herpes does not actually mean the herpes you are thinking about)  I even talked to Dr. Cox after 2nd hour, Dan. (Was Daniel not here today?!) Andrew is still recovering from his rodentness...I mean, wisdom teeth surgery.  And Jadah went home early too.  So dang, you people suck. 

I got to look sexy in my school girlish plaid skirt today because the weather was nice enough to wear it.  Hooray for 70 degrees!  There's a new kid in my grade that started today.  I tried to be nice to him because I know how freaking hard it is being the new kid, especially on my huge campus.  But it's sorta hard to know what to say.  He seemed pretty scared but like he was trying to act like he had it tall together.  HmMm, sound familiar?  Yeah, I thought so too.  I didn't know exactly what to say but I gave it a shot.  Poor kid.  I hope he fits in quickly. 

Oh man, I have some bad news.  I always, always have my Livestrong braclet on.  I got it back in June.  And so I had it on like usual yesterday...and then I looked at my arm after my shower and it was GONE.  *cries*  I think it broke off.  I'm so sad, you people have no idea.  RIP, Court's LS braclet.  You served me well my friend.

-Court

Today was good.  I got my report card...guess who has a 3.6?! Courtney does, Courtney does.  I'm not trying to brag, but I'm so proud of myself.  I have brains, I just need to use them.  And I suppose I proved that to myself. WooT.

Speaking of how awesome stuff is, Vic sent me this wonderful beanie for my birthday. The funny thing about it is she bought it for me for my birthday LAST year.  And she just now got around to sending it.  You crazy kid. I looooove it. 

Rawk on, I'm sexEH.

Muah! 

You rock Victoria my dearest.  And you give pimpin' presents. I swear I'll get around to sending your's...eventually.

Two words my friends.

Hawthorne Heights.

Okay, okay, a couple more words.

Ohio is for Lovers. <3

If you like Thursday and TBS...give these guys a listen. 

"Spare me just

three last words

'I love you'

is all she heard

I'll wait for you

But I can't wait

forever"

-Court

It's almost Friday.  Which means it's almost Saturday. Which means...yes, yes it does indeed mean Snowball.

My cell is broken.  Luckily it's still under warienty, but I still have to use a crappy motorola until my new phone comes in.  Which sucks a ton and a half. I miss my phone =( Luckily there's nice technology and I just got to switch my SIM card into my loaner phone so it's doable.  More later, maybe. 

-Courtney

"Ay papa, crotch!" Right Kerry? Hehe...

Mi platano es muy grande.

Foreigen languages are fun.

-Court

P.s. I sent Vic's present today! Go me. I mean..."Fantastico!"

Copy and post in your blog/journal. BOLD anything that is true.  Leave plain anything that is not true.  Add something.

*Things in ( ) I added and you should subtract from your's.

Today. Is. SNOWBALL.

Yeahhhh-UH.

-Court

Snowball. Freaking. Rocked.  I had as much fun as I'd hoped I would, and more.  Sadly, the lighting in my house sucks and taking pictures with digitals after dark doesn't work so well, so most of my pictures suck.  But here you kids go anyway, the nine million pictures I promised you.

Me and my loooover.

I'm so "elegant." Right Jay?

Sucky picture, but isn't my dress fabulous? I think so, too.

Me and the lovely Jadah.  We were sooo the most beautiful girls there. No joke.

The ever wonderful, ever sexEH DannO!  I loooove his new hair cut! This is us having fun at Denny's after the dance.

My dearest ShoNo, Danno's date. <3 Awwwwie

Pondering the meaning of life.

All grins before the big dance.

YaY!  It was so much fun.  Did I say that a million tims already?  I kicked off my heals after about an hour...I just can't walk in those freaking things. The dance was awesome, all my best friends were there, plus I got to show off my boy too a lot of my friends who hadn't met him before.  He looked soOooOo spiffy. I danced with Dan, No-No, ShoNo, Jay, everybody!  It was freaking cold though. BrRrr. And Em looked great, I wish I'd've gotten a picture of her.  It was an amazing night.  Wish you could've been there. All of you. Honestly.

<3

-Court

So beyond this Snowball bizzle, yesterday was quite nice too.  Derek spent the night, it's always wonderful waking up to his face. =)  We went to church to help with the spagetti lunch the youth group was putting on for our fund raiser.  Which was actually pretty fun, everybody was there. We also made some good money for camp. WooT.  Then we went home and me 'n Derek lay around for awhile and Jay brought her new boy with the silly name over.  And I approve of him, which is good. Then Derek left and I slept and slept.  So I missed youth.  =(  Which saddens me, but I needed sleep, boy did I ever.  When I got up I went to Dan's for some Napolien Dynomite and some classic Movie Night time. Not to mention that great 'Ol Bob Miller's Prickley  Pear Soda.  *mouth waters* Delicious.  I'm glad today was a holiday, I needed to catch up on some more sleep.  Plus, MLK was a pretty awesome guy, I'm glad he got a national holiday.  We still remember your dream, buddy. This morning my family and I went Wal-Mart shopping. Yay for good snack foods.  Then I spent awhile attempting to fix my sucky Snowball pictures. (see below entry) And now we're having a bit of a HP movie marathon. We're on the Chamber of Secrets.  And this is all getting very boring, so I think I'll go now.  Love you all.

<3 -Court

I went to dinner with my mom tonight.  It was actually pretty pleasant.  The school day d r a g g e d by today.  Very Mondayish, even though it was a Tuesday.  Except I don't have to go to school Friday so it's kinda like today was Wednesday, too. You know how that goes.  And if you don't...well, uh, you're not cool.  

So here's this week's game plan: Get through the next two days of school. (Geometry test tomorrow, say a prayer for my grades...=/ )Go to Roswell to watch my hunny buns play basketball on Thursday evening. (wooT) Leave for Lubbock for Hot Hearts (a Baptist youth Christian concert/speaking thing) Shop Friday morning.  Jam out Friday night.  Stay up and parrrtay (heh) with Em and other cool church people.  Jam out again Saturday. Come home and sleep a lot Saturday night. 

Really interesting I know.  I went to HH last year and it was...pretty okay.  If nothing else I'll enjoy the company of my friends and the music.  And probably the shopping. ;) 

<333

-Courtney

I wore Derek's sweater to school today.  It's about 453984308 times too big on me, but it's comfy and warm.  It just makes me look kinda...okay, pretty durn silly.  But it smells like him/his house.  Except after today it's starting to smell more like me =( I'm sure everyone is quite interested in the smell of my/Derek's sweater.  Yes.

Today was pretty good.  Both Jay and Dan were home sick, which actually made things easier in some ways, except for I waited for both of them after first for a long while before realizing that they weren't there. Duh Court.  Feel better you kids.  Stupid Andrew decided to pull my backpack so I couldn't make it to 5th hour so that I was late and Mr. Michalski yelled at me.  Thanks Andrew. Thanks a freaking lot.  I'm going to make you come to TOC (what does that stand for anyway? Something That Starts With 'T" on Campus I suppose) with me when I get a referal.  =P  Biatch.

Also today my buddy Abel said "I don't like your boyfriend."  I just looked at him, laughed and said "Abel you've never met Derek." He was like "Still. I just don't like him."  I said "He's a really good guy, and he has to be smart, I mean, he picked me." He said "Okay, I guess. *joking voice* I guess I'm just jealous or something. He really better be good to you though."  I found this pretty funny, and sweet in a weird way. I guess in the fact that Abel wants to look out for me.  But it's silly that someone would think Derek isn't a good guy.  Come on Abel, get with the program.

In conclusion...eat more chicken.

-Court

Just wanted to let you all know that I have the coolest boyfriend ever. <3

That's right, it's a tricycle.

And that's really all there is to say.

"And I'll become even more undignified then this."-David Crowder

Hot Hearts was...eh.  Pretty much like I expected.  Good music. Yay David Crowder.  Bad, bad speaker.  "Get saved or you're going to BURN FOREVER IN HELL!" Now stuff like this I'm used to and can brush off. But when he went off on "Homosexuals are born just like the rest of us, PREVERTED and in need of being BORN AGAIN."  It really got to me Luckily, Dave, the pastor of the First Christian Church here in town came with us and we all had a discussion about the fact that that's not what we as Presbyterians believe as a whole.  I won't go on a rant about this though.

In other news, it was fun watching Derek play basketball on Thursday night.  For the record, he runs like a duck.  Quacks indeed.  It was kind of weird being in the same room as he was but not being able to talk to him or really be with it.  Not a feeling I much cared for.  And I felt bad because his team got their butt's kicked- it didn't matter in the least bit to me, but I'm sure he would have felt more manly if his team had won. 

Yesterday was my 6 months with Derek.  "AwwwWwe".  And today is party day with Leesha.  WooT, wOOt.  Happy 5 months kid.

"Because the world is round it turns me on." -The Beatles.

-Court

I suppose there's nothing much to say about today. 

Not to sound cocky, but my dad is a really good preacher.  I got so much more out of the one 15 minute sermon my dad preached this morning then I did out of all the bizzle the guy at Hot Hearts said. 

Kids from Henderson (the town I lived in in Texas) were at Hot Hearts. (First Baptist) And if Vic would've known, she could've gone with them!  Dagnabit.  Oh well.

That's all.

-Court

Hellllo my friends.  Yes, 'tis I.  I am not dead. My computer, however, has a virus.  Icky indeed.  I'm currently at my mom's house. I hope to get my computer up and running before my birthday (Which is on Monday WOO!) because I'm getting my iPOD. Yeah-UH. Until then, I love you guys.  Take care.

-Court

* Jadah is gone.  Yup, she finally actually went through with it: she moved to Albequreque

* Tuesday and Thursday we had the New Mexico Compancy exams.  Snoooore.  But I got out of 1-4th hours two days.  Which was nice.

* I am claiming the word bumbley and all it's forms. It's bumblishous.

* Derek is coming to see me tomorrow. (Which is totally bumbly.)

* Speaking of which: My birthday's Monday.  So that's cool.

-Court-bumbly-ney

I get to see my Derek tomorrow.  I'm giving him some...oh dang, I forgot he can read this.  I'll have to tell you after I give it to him. 

I'm at Mom's house...and we actually had a very nice afternoon/evening together.  We went on a wild goose chase for Derek's present.  Then we went to Chili's for dinner.  And then we came home and watched LotR: The Two Towers and colored with oil pastels.  I haven't gotten along with my mom this well in awhile.

I'm quite tired.  So I'm off to talk to Derek and then sleep.  I'm spending the night at Derek's (not like that folks, I'm staying in Austin's room, who is going to stay at school- NMMI)  so I'll probaby update on Sunday night. 

<3 Love, and other good stuff too.

-Courtnizzle

Okay. I've written this entry twice.  And it keeps not showing up on my blog.  So let's give it one more try.

I sliced up my knee today shaving.  I have a very ouchie boo-boo.  =(  OwwWwie.

My daddy is snoring in his chair "watching" TV.  Does everybody's dad do that?  I think so.

Derek is coming to see me tomorrow- yippie!  But then I don't get to see him for like 3 weeks, which makes me very sad indeed. =*(

Kerrizle-  I wish I coulda gone to the game, but I just plain didn't have anybody to go with.  (I'm sure you oggled at the hot foreign boys enough for the both of us)  That's what I miss about Jadah- I could spontaniously go where-ever with her on the spur of the moment.  I don't really have anyone I can do that with now.  Oh well, I straightened up my room and washed my sheets since Derek's coming.  Which sounds dirty, but really isn't.

There's nothing like sliding in between sheets just out of the dryer, so I think I'mma do just that.  And I get to wake up in the morning to my lover's face.  I can't wait...weeee.

See all you lovers later.

-Court